A wedding, which hopefully marks a beautiful new chapter in life, can sometimes come with harsh endings. Some of these endings include longtime friendships. Weddings can strain friendships because of the stress that comes with planning during the wedding process, and can even bring to light whether the bride and groom consider you a close friend. After the wedding, you may even wonder if there’s even a friendship worth saving.
One Reddit user recently posted about her and her husband’s recent wedding experience. According to the woman, her husband’s friend invited them to a destination wedding in Hawaii, but when they got there, they realized they weren’t invited to the wedding’s most important moments: the reception and ceremony. She turned to Reddit seeking support and an outside perspective on the event.
According to Blythe Copeland from Bridesweddings can bring out the worst in people. While people should be considerate of the stress the bride and groom are going through, it’s also thoughtful for the soon-to-be newlyweds to consider their guests, especially when planning a destination wedding.
Many may have financial constraints, and that means your big day is much more than just a weekend getaway. That’s the point the Reddit user made in her post, highlighting that she was looking for an outside perspective on the circumstances they experienced.
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The woman shared that her husband and the groom have known each other for 10 plus years, and his wife for about five. Even when she moved across the country with her husband, he kept in touch with his friend, which included yearly trips and meetups.
They received the wedding invitation, which they RSVP’d for all the events noted on the website. Her husband even flew out to Hawaii six days earlier for the bachelor party, where he was one of four guys who joined. Everything seemed fine until, according to her husband, during the bachelor party, he found out they were invited to all the events except the actual wedding and reception!
The groom insisted he thought they knew, since it was noted on the registration website. She wrote, “Looking back, the ceremony and reception were not noted on the website, but I don’t think we thought much about this because it was so far in advance when we registered…The groom also never mentioned anything/ clarified this invite until we arrived.”
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According to the woman, the reception and ceremony were smaller but included most of the guests who travelled. Trying to explain why they weren’t invited, the groom explained that even though he didn’t expect many of his extended family members to make the trip, they did, which brought the venue to capacity.
While the woman said she understands budgets and capacity restrictions, she also expressed that she felt awkward and embarrassed. She wished she had known in advance they weren’t officially invited. Most Reddit users expressed their shock at the event. One said, “That is unbelievably rude.” Many shared that the wedding is the ceremony and the reception. Some expressed their confusion: “Exactly, what’s left of the wedding then? What WERE they invited to?”
While the main elements of a traditional wedding are the ceremony and reception, there are other common wedding- events and parties, according to Sarah Schreiber, also from Brides. Regardless, guests deserve clear communication, especially when they’re travelling so far and under the impression they’re close to the bride and groom.
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Mina Rose Morales is a writer and photojournalist with a degree in journalism. She covers a wide range of topics, including psychology, self-help, relationships, and the human experience.
