There’s no correct way to give birth. Whether you opt for a cesarean section, forgo drugs, or go the home birth route, every birth is unique and special in its own right. Still, one mom was left feeling guilty after her friend seemingly cast judgment on her chosen birthing method.
“My friend and I gave birth two months apart, both of us with previous C-sections,” the mom explained in her Reddit post. “This was my second pregnancy and her third.”
Although the friends had their children around the same time, they decided to take different routes to get there. “I chose to have an elective, planned C-section (because my first birth was an emergency C-section and was traumatic),” she shared. “It went really well. Healed super fast, baby’s healthy, I’m healthy, all is well.”
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Her friend, however, didn’t want to have another C-section and opted for a vaginal birth or VBAC. She even tried to convince the Redditor to have VBAC as well, but she stood firm in her decision.
“After she had the baby, she texted me from the hospital with a picture of herself and the baby, saying, ‘She’s here naturally! So happy I did this!'” the mom continued. “I congratulated her and immediately started to feel guilty that I made the wrong decision.”
This guilt has really affected her and is impacting the way she parents. “I’ve been crying a lot about it,” she said. “It just rubbed me the wrong way that she had to mention that her baby is here ‘naturally’ and how happy she is that she did it that way.”
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Commenters on the whole were very kind and understanding. Many stressed that the mom has absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of or guilty for.
“I think she was likely just informing you that nothing went awry and she didn’t end up with an emergency C-section,” one user suggested. “Unless she’s usually snarky to you, it was probably just informing you how it went.”
“I think she’s allowed to be happy that her birth plan went the way she wanted it to. And I think you’re allowed to be happy that your birth plan went the way you wanted it to,” another commenter wrote. “Giving birth successfully vaginally is something to be proud of. Just like willingly (putting) your body through major surgery is something to be proud of.”
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The Mayo Clinic explained“A successful VBAC is linked with fewer health concerns than having another C-section. But an unsuccessful VBAC attempt is linked with more health concerns. They include the possibility of serious bleeding and uterine rupture. There’s also a higher risk of problems happening during a C-section that’s done after labor has started.”
Clearly, there is no one right answer to how someone should give birth. What matters is that both of these moms did what they felt was best for them. There’s no reason to compare their experiences so closely.
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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
