By the time your friend tells you they’re flying off to Toronto, Melbourne, or Berlin, you already know the script. They’ll post a gleeful airport selfie, a tearful goodbye to their dog, and a LinkedIn update that includes words like “grateful,” “excited,” and “new beginnings.” But fast forward a few months, and suddenly those airport selfies start to dry up. The new beginning? It’s starting to feel more like an existential middle. So what’s going on? Why are so many Indians, after months (or even years) of IELTS prep, visa applications, and goodbye parties, beginning to wonder if they made a huge mistake?
The Big Fat Dream of “Settling Abroad” Let’s be honest. For many Indians, moving abroad is not just a decision. It’s a legacy.
You don’t simply go to another country. You "settle," like your cousin’s best friend’s husband who moved to Canada in 2014 and now drives a Tesla. Or that one girl from your school who posts New York skyline pictures with captions like “blessed beyond words.” Whether it’s the allure of better job prospects, a cleaner environment, or the sheer prestige of saying “I live in the U.S. now,” the grass has always looked greener on the other side — quite literally, because it rains a lot more there. But the truth behind the visa stamp is a little less shiny.

The Culture Shock Nobody Prepares You For When Indians move abroad, most are prepared for a little homesickness. They expect to miss the food, their families, and probably the luxury of having someone else do their laundry. But what catches many off-guard is the strange cultural flatness that creeps in after the initial euphoria fades. You go from Diwali with 30 cousins to a muted Skype call at 3 a.m. from your studio apartment. The neighborhood doesn’t smell like samosas anymore. It smells like snow and silent streets. And no one invites you over randomly for chai and unsolicited career advice. Making friends abroad is also harder than it looks. Unless you count the cashier at the supermarket who says, “Hi, how are you?” without waiting for a reply. Or your Pakistani Uber driver who asks if you like biryani and gives you a nod of mutual homesickness.

Work-Life Balance or Work-Life... Confusion? One of the biggest reasons Indians head west is the promise of a better work-life balance. But here’s the plot twist: balance is a lot more boring than expected. In India, your life is your work sometimes, and as much as that can be frustrating, it also gives you a sense of motion and connection. Abroad, things can get eerily slow. You clock out at 5, and then what? Netflix? A lonely walk through a park where nobody even makes eye contact? Also, that whole idea of meritocracy in the West can come with its own hidden layers. Yes, there’s less hierarchy. But there’s also less warmth. Your boss might smile at you, but good luck getting a Diwali off without a half-hour HR negotiation and a passive-aggressive calendar invite titled “Happy Holidays.”
The Ice-Cold Reality of Climate Let’s take a moment to talk about weather. Because no matter how many jackets you buy, nothing prepares you for the bone-deep sorrow of a Canadian winter. You start to understand why people drink hot soup out of paper cups and wear thermal underwear like it's a fashion statement. One day you’re battling heat in Delhi, and the next, you’re Googling "how to de-ice windshield" at 7 a.m. The weather isn’t just a temperature change. It’s an emotional adjustment. Especially when the sun sets at 4 p.m. and your body begins to forget what vitamin D feels like.
The Economic Reality Behind the Glamour There’s also the money situation. Everyone assumes that dollars and euros are automatic upgrades from rupees. But guess what? Earning in dollars also means spending in dollars. Rent is wild. Grocery shopping becomes a strategic game of “What can I live without this week?” And Indian food, if not cooked at home, is either way too expensive or tastes like someone added sugar to turmeric and hoped for the best. Sure, salaries are higher, but so is everything else. And unless you land a truly golden job (and even then), saving money while trying to keep up with basic expenses becomes its own math puzzle.
Social Status: The Illusion That Follows You Here’s the funny part. Even if life abroad is kind of lonely and cold and expensive, there’s still pressure to act like everything’s going amazing. Why? Because back home, you’ve already told everyone you’ve "settled." You post photos of sunsets and captions about growth. You mention your office building has free coffee. You show your new apartment, carefully cropped so no one sees the two roommates you share it with. Because admitting regret feels like admitting defeat. And nobody wants to be that person who went abroad only to say, “Actually... it’s not as great as I thought.”
When Home Stops Feeling Like Home The real kicker? Even if you do come back, you don’t fit in the same way anymore. Your friends have moved on. Your old job market feels like a time capsule. And everyone keeps asking, “Why’d you come back?” It's like you became a different person in a different timezone, and now you're somewhere in between. Not fully abroad, not fully home. Just suspended in a strange cultural jet lag.

So Why Are Indians Still Going? Because the dream still sells. Despite the many challenges, people continue to chase that international dream. And to be fair, for some it does work out beautifully. They build a new family, find purpose, and learn how to navigate both worlds. But for many others, the dream turns out to be a carefully filtered version of someone else’s Instagram highlight reel.
And here’s the truth no one puts on their visa application: moving abroad doesn’t magically fix things. It just changes the setting.
What’s the Takeaway?
If you’re reading this while studying for the GRE or updating your resume for a job in Berlin, don’t worry. This isn’t a guilt trip. It’s just a heads-up. Moving abroad can be amazing. It can also be unexpectedly hard, weirdly lonely, and filled with the kind of growth that doesn’t look good on Instagram. It’s not about whether it’s right or wrong. It’s about whether it’s right for you. Before you buy that ticket and pack your pressure cooker, maybe ask yourself a few questions:

• Are you running to something, or running from something?
  
  
• Do you have a support system, or just a fantasy?
  
  
• Can you handle snow in April? (Seriously. It happens.)
  
  

In the end, whether you stay, go, or come back, it helps to remember that life isn’t a race to settle somewhere. Sometimes the real adventure is just figuring out where you belong, with or without maple syrup, subway maps, and snow boots.
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