At some point, we’ll all face a difficult choice about how to spend our time. We can only be in one place at a time, after all. One man was faced with the decision to either attend his grandpa’s funeral or be present for his pregnant wife’s 20-week ultrasound.

While he didn’t take the decision lightly, he felt like the right thing to do was to be there to say goodbye to his grandfather one final time and even serve as a pallbearer. His wife, who didn’t even plan on attending the funeral, was pretty mad.

A pregnant wife felt like her husband was choosing his grandfather over their daughter after he missed her ultrasound.

The husband posted on Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong after feeling like he was being pulled in two different directions by two parts of his family. He explained that he and his wife are expecting their first child, a girl who is due in November. He’s already very involved and naturally wants to be there for the 20-week ultrasound.

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Unfortunately, some other sad events have interfered with this plan. “The last week and a half my grandfather’s health had been slowly diminishing,” he shared. “I had a talk with my father and family and (we) were told that sometime within a week of his passing we would have the funeral.”

He planned for the occasion with his wife. “I was asked to be a pallbearer at the funeral,” he said. “She said she’d want to stay home with the dogs so we didn’t have to board them and that I could go by myself (on) the four (to) four and a half hour trip up north to my father’s home town.”

It seemed like their plan was in place, but then a wrench was thrown in. “Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away late last night/early this morning,” he said. After touching base with his dad, he found out the funeral will be at 10:00 on Wednesday, which is the same day as his wife’s ultrasound.

“My wife is now upset that I plan to go to my grandfather’s funeral instead of (going) to the ultrasound appointment,” he explained. “I said, ‘Well, we could FaceTime? But it’s my grandfather.’ I know FaceTime isn’t the same. But she said, ‘Yeah, but this is your daughter.’”

Others were quick to point out the most obvious, easiest solution — reschedule the appointment.

People who commented on the man’s post simply couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just reschedule the ultrasound appointment. “The appointment could be rescheduled, the funeral cannot be,” one person pointed out. “I’ve delivered five children. I was glad when my husband could be at my appointments but often he couldn’t be. It’s not the end of the world.”

Another person asked a very important question about the wife’s priorities. “Why is wife okay to miss the funeral because of dogs, but he can’t miss the ultrasound because of a funeral?” they asked.

Other people noted that it might not be that easy to get the appointment rescheduled, especially with how important the 20-week ultrasound is. Still, couldn’t she make an exception for this heartbreaking situation?

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It’s not clear why the husband must be present for the ultrasound when his wife wasn’t going to be at the funeral.

According to the Cleveland Clinicthe 20-week ultrasound is also referred to as the anatomy scan. “The scan is one tool your pregnancy care provider uses to make sure the fetus and pregnancy are healthy,” they said. “It also helps them catch any potential problems before birth.”

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Obviously, this is an important appointment, and it sounds like this man’s wife might be hiding the fact that she’s a little scared behind her anger. Being scared is normal, but not communicating properly with your spouse, especially during two emotionally charged events in their lives, is just not healthy for the relationship.

Being there for his grandpa’s funeral is important to this man. The fact that he can’t miss the ultrasound when his wife wasn’t even going to attend the funeral in the first place feels a little bit ridiculous. But see, that’s where real communication comes into play. This isn’t a choice the dad-to-be needs to make. And it’s also not a scary ultrasound appointment that the mom-to-be needs to face alone.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.