A mom questioned if she was the one in the wrong after throwing her daughter a birthday party despite having limited funds, only to hear that the other parents in her community were talking about her behind her back. In a post to Instagram Threads, a mom named May Blue claimed that she was shocked her decision to throw her daughter a birthday party was met with such disdain and judgement from other parents, especially considering she was only trying to give her daughter a special day even though they weren’t doing the best financially.

A mom found out that local parents were gossiping about her because she threw her daughter a birthday party she couldn’t afford.

In her Threads postBlue explained that a few years ago, she was in a tough spot financially and couldn’t afford to give her daughter a party despite how badly she wanted one. However, instead of telling her daughter that the party couldn’t happen because of their financial situation, she decided to try to give her the best day possible with the limited funds she had.

“So I sent out invites for a birthday party at the local park, with a note ‘optional: if you are able to bring a plate it is greatly appreciated,'” she wrote in her post. “I couldn’t afford party bags so I set up some balloons & gave them to the kids afterward.”

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Years later, the mom learned that people were still talking about the party, and they didn’t have nice things to say.

Blue said that some of the moms in her area were still gossiping about the party years later. She recalled some of them saying things like, “If you can’t afford a birthday party, you shouldn’t have one.”

In Blue’s comments, many people were on her side and pointed out that she did nothing wrong in trying to give her daughter a party, despite what the other moms thought. “My mum threw me a party like this once in our backyard,” one woman shared. “I didnt know it at the time because I was 7 and she’s a great mum but she had lost her job and we were about to lose our house and she invited my whole class and said please bring a plate instead of a present and everyone came and we played so many games and to this day (nearly 40) my old friends and I remember that party as one of the best ever. I’d hate to think anyone judged my mum who was just trying to make my day special. Great job!”

Another person added, “Honey, I would bring the whole damn cake if you asked me to. Those women are goblins. You did right by your kiddo and that’s all that matters.” Another user summed up what I’m sure we’re all thinking: “Everyone has become so materialistic. The best times don’t have to cost anything. Your daughter will only remember you gave her a party.”

Brené Brown explained that this hurtful gossip from the other moms wasn’t really about the party at all. It was about insecurity. In her book “Daring Greatly,” she wrote, “We latch on to a (parenting) method or approach and very quickly our way becomes the way. When we obsess over our parenting choices to the extent that most of us do, and then see someone else making different choices, we often perceive that difference as direct criticism of how we are parenting… Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children.”

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The mom was only trying to give her daughter a normal childhood experience.

It’s clear that from this mom’s post, she just wanted to do something special for her daughter, despite the fact that she couldn’t afford to go all out. She was determined to make sure her daughter was completely unaware of the hardships and enjoyed her special day. That’s what good parents do.

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Maybe these other moms were struggling with the truth that they might not have been able to do what Blue did for her own daughter, and that made them feel insecure about their ability to parent well.

Birthday parties don’t have to be an extravagant affair, especially for a child. She went out of her way to make sure that the party was fun, and just because she didn’t have enough money for party favors didn’t mean the kids didn’t have a blast. She’s clearly doing her best, and other parents should be more sympathetic and have grace instead of trying to tear her down.

At the end of the day, moms who continue to go above and beyond for their children without letting the things happening in their personal lives deter them should be uplifted and supported. Those moms in her area should’ve taken it upon themselves to try to help instead of gossiping and making it worse.

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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.