While we always hope that the stars will align to send us our perfect match, we may eventually have to face the difficult choice between our soul mate and stability. A recent survey found that when it comes to settling down, marrying for love or money isn’t as easy a choice as you might think.
It’s not exactly socially acceptable to admit that love isn’t always enough when it comes to marriage. And while marrying solely for money isn’t exactly considered admirable, a mix of the two, or at least the hope that both partners are on the same page when it comes to their finances and work ethic, is reality.
Matchmaking service Tawkify asked 1,000 Americans to share how they prioritize love and money in their dating lives. Can emotional connection outweigh financial stresses in the current economy?
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Like in every good fairytale, love does prevail. Almost 2 in 3 Americans (63%) said they would marry for love, even if it meant they would struggle financially for their whole lives. Additionally, 54% said that, if they were forced to choose, they would prioritize having romantic love over financial security.
But it seems important to note that 46% would choose money over love if they were forced to make the choice. While it’s easy to assume that love won, the margin was pretty darn close, and the fact that we don’t know if the respondents were single or already married or even divorced would skew those numbers. The fact is, idealistic singles might be more willing to throw caution to the wind and bet it all on love.
The survey also found that women were more likely to choose love over money, with 58% claiming they would pick a “broke but magical” relationship. Only 51% of men said they would choose this type of relationship over being “rich but bored” in a relationship.
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If you’re lucky enough to fall in love with someone who also happens to be financially stable, you might think you’ve hit the jackpot, but what happens if that relationship gets stale? The realization that separating finances and potentially struggling as a single person might make the decision to leave a lot more difficult.
Sixty-nine percent of survey respondents said they stayed in a relationship longer than they should have because of shared finances. Forty-four percent claimed it was just a temporary situation, but 25% said it was long-term. Though sharing finances can be beneficial for some couples, it can cause challenges down the road.
In fact, a 2023 report by Lending Tree found that 23% of all couples are primarily staying in their current relationships due to financial dependency. Proving that when faced with financial hardship, matters of the heart get messy.
While 66% of Americans in the Tawkify survey said they would never get back with an ex, almost 1 in 3 (30%) admitted they would consider getting back with an ex if that person became rich. However, respondents also would get back with an ex if they believed the person had grown (44%), the physical connection was strong (38%), or if they had unresolved feelings (38%).
Remember when I mentioned earlier about that hope that many people have that their partner will at least be on the same page when it comes to finances? Yeah, well, 48% of people said they wouldn’t even bother dating someone who didn’t have a job, even if they were attracted to them. This was the top reason, beating out opposing political beliefs at 47% and incompatible lifestyles at 45%.
The question of money and love is a lot more complex than the unlikely scenario of an aging billionaire swooping in and marrying someone young and attractive. Sure, that happens, but the idea that it’s abhorrent becomes a little more grey when you think about choosing a soul mate who has no ambition other than to barely get by, or settling for a comfortable and stable life with someone you like, but maybe don’t have fairy tale love for.
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The survey revealed that Gen X and baby boomers think their “perfect match” should make a salary of $115,000. Millennials said only $100,000 per year was acceptable, while Gen Z had lower (or perhaps more realistic) standards of around $80,000 per year.
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Women reportedly had higher expectations for salary than men, with women respondents saying that their ideal partner should earn an average salary of $110,000. Men, on the other hand, only expect their partner to make around $90,000 each year. This, of course, completely negates the 58% of women who would rather choose a “broke but magical” love. See? Messy.
Though these numbers aren’t totally unrealistic, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the average salary for 2025 is around $62,000 per year, so it may truly come down to the big question: love or money?
At the end of the day, the truth is: It’s a little bit of both. Life is easier with financial security. When life is easier, everyday stressors don’t take a toll on a relationship the way they would in the midst of financial strain. Financial stability is an important factor in finding a partner, and there’s no reason to deny it.
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Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
