For many kids, a rite of passage growing up is being able to pull the wool over their parents’ eyes a little and get away with the usual shenanigans. However, for a woman named Ashley Hicks, having a Secret Service Agent as a dad meant he was always ten steps ahead of every questionable teenage decision-making, making natural rebellion much harder for her than her peers.
Things like sneaking out to hang out with friends, or skipping class to spend the day at the mall, are pretty standard when it comes to kids testing out their independence. That wasn’t the case for Hicks, however. She shared in a recent video that her dad was a master at detecting deception and anticipating her actions before she even had the chance to try to get away with anything.
Hicks admitted that she could never lie to her dad, not because she didn’t try, however. She recalled trying all of the time, in fact, but she was never able to get away with it because her dad could always sniff out the truth. Which, of course, isn’t surprising at all considering his line of work and the skills that he was required to have as a Secret Service agent.
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“Especially surrounding friends and where I was supposed to be,” Hicks explained. “One time I told him I was going to a friend’s house, went somewhere else, got home, and he goes straight to my car, comes in and says, ‘You were supposed to be at [your friend’s house]. She lives 3 miles away. Why are there twenty-two additional miles on your odometer?'”
Lying in adolescence is a pretty normal behavior. In fact, an estimated 96% of adolescents lie to their parents. There are a variety of reasons teens fib, and most of the time, it has to do with just asserting independence and developing autonomy. The fact that Hicks felt she was unable to get away with lying is understandable, especially since her dad seemed to call her out on the behavior, but the truth is, most kids only think their parents don’t know they are lying, at least half the time!
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Hicks admitted that her dad was like a bloodhound when it came to her sneaking out or skipping school. She recalled one time when she forged her mom’s signature on a note to sneak out of school. She was able to leave school, thinking she had gotten away with the entire ordeal.
She spent the entire day out of school, living her best life. However, the very next day, she received a call to go to the principal’s office. As soon as she walked in, she was shocked to see her dad sitting in the office. “He looks at me and says, ‘I skipped a meeting at The White House to be here because we know that you skipped school yesterday,'” she recalled her dad saying. Hicks admitted that even to this day, she has zero idea how her dad knew, but he did tell her that he took a course in the secret service all about forgery. In other words, he knew Hicks had forged her mom’s signature on a note to avoid class.
Obviously, chronically being absent is a bad thing for high school students, but that wasn’t the issue. This was the equivalent of a kid faking a stomachache to stay home once in a while. Most parents know their kids are going to skip school once in a while, but until mental health absences become viable excuses, it’s the only option. Maybe this was an instance where Hicks’ dad should have let it slide…
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While Hicks was allowed to have her friend’s sleepover at her house growing up, she was almost never allowed to sleep over at other people’s homes. She explained that her house was acceptable because it was “locked down like Fort Knox,” but it seemed her dad wasn’t too thrilled about the idea of her being at other people’s places.
“Now looking back, I’m like, ‘He would let me sleep over at Ally’s house, her dad was FBI. I could sleep at my other friend’s house; her dad was an admiral in the Navy. But couldn’t sleep anywhere else.’ And now it’s all making sense,” she said.
It’s not just parents who are in the secret service or government positions that feel wary about their kids having sleepovers; it’s regular parents, as well. In an interview with USA Today, Phyllis Fagell, a school counselor, explained that parenting culture in this country has grown extremely overprotective. She encouraged parents who were resistant or hesitant about sleepovers, especially at the home of someone they know and trust, to examine their motivations.
Being a teen is hard. Life is changing so quickly. You’re on the cusp of adulthood but still not ready to take on the full responsibilities that making adult decisions entails. Still, you’re navigating stress, body changes, social pressures, questions about the future, and even family dynamics. Rebellion is a normal part of that process, but that doesn’t mean parents have to be complacent in allowing their kids to just run roughshod over them because they are testing the waters of independence. Hicks’ dad may have been a little overbearing and strict in his approach to some of these behaviors, but at the end of the day, his daughter is a happy and healthy adult, so maybe his approach was perfect for her and their family.
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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
