Patriarchy has conditioned men for centuries to believe that women are the “lucky” ones in a relationship — lucky to be chosen, lucky to be married, lucky to be provided for. But the truth is far less flattering to men. In a world where misogyny still thrives in subtle and overt forms, where emotional labor is undervalued, and where women carry the double burden of societal expectation and self-preservation, it is actually men who should be grateful that women continue to choose them.

This is not about shaming men individually, but about exposing a system of conditioning. From boyhood, many men are raised in ways that normalize entitlement, minimize empathy, and excuse bad behavior. And yet, despite all this, women still love, marry, support, and stand by men. That patience, generosity, and resilience deserves acknowledgment.

1. Because Women Still Choose Love Over Fear why love dies after marriage Despite centuries of violence, abuse, and control directed at women, they still dare to love men. Every time a woman enters a relationship, she risks safety, freedom, and even dignity. That she still chooses men despite this historical trauma is a profound act of courage. Many men underestimate how much daily calculation women do around safety-avoiding certain places at night, texting friends their location, or carrying keys like weapons. Choosing intimacy with men in a world that so often punishes women for it is an act of radical hope.

2. Because Women Carry the Emotional Weight Men Were Never Taught To Why Indian Women Are Taught to ‘Save’ Their Marriages But Men Aren’t Most men are raised to suppress feelings and avoid vulnerability. Who then carries the responsibility for communication, emotional balance, and healing? Women. They soothe, they manage, they mend relationships. Without women, many men would be adrift in their own unprocessed emotions. Studies show women initiate most difficult conversations in relationships, from finances to parenting, and they also notice emotional shifts earlier. Men rely heavily on women for emotional survival, often without realizing it.

3. Because Women Choose Partners Who Are Still Learning Equality How long must one wait for peace? This powerful narrative unveils the emotional toll, social stigma, and the desperate need for empathy and reform in India's marriage laws. Patriarchy hasn’t been dismantled - only challenged. That means even “good men” are works in progress, often unconscious of privilege. Women enter relationships knowing they’ll likely have to educate their partners, gently or otherwise, about fairness, household responsibilities, and respect. Whether it’s dividing chores, questioning sexist jokes, or advocating for her own career, women do the invisible labor of social progress inside their homes. Men should be grateful women have the patience to help them grow rather than walking away.

4. Because Women Still Marry Into Patriarchal Families In India, remarrying during an ongoing case is not permitted under the Hindu marriage act, and doing so may lead to serious legal consequences. In many societies, marriage doesn’t just mean choosing a man — it means navigating his family’s gender expectations. From mother-in-law policing to the subtle (or overt) demand of “adjusting,” women absorb cultural friction men are rarely asked to face. They often bear the responsibility of blending into family traditions, managing expectations, and being the peacemaker. Men rarely experience the same demands, yet benefit from the stability women maintain.

5. Because Women Tolerate Everyday Misogyny Offhand jokes, dismissive remarks, being talked over, being expected to serve — most men don’t even notice when they do it, because it’s ingrained. Women notice. Women feel it. And still, they stay. That tolerance is not weakness, it’s patience. Whether in workplace meetings or social gatherings, women face constant microaggressions. The fact that they keep showing up in relationships with men, knowing these patterns may repeat at home, is an extraordinary act of endurance.

6. Because Women Work Twice as Hard for Half the Recognition Even in dual-income households, studies consistently show women doing more housework and childcare. Men often believe themselves to be “helping,” when in fact women are shouldering the primary load. The fact that women still choose to share lives with men despite this imbalance is a gift of generosity. Research shows women do about 2.5 times more unpaid labor globally, yet their contributions are often minimized as “natural” or expected. This constant undervaluing means men’s comfort is built on women’s overwork.

7. Because Women Are Raising the Next Generation Better Than Men Were Raised Most of the values men pride themselves on today: empathy, discipline, education were taught by mothers, not fathers. Women invest in raising men, only for many of those men to grow up and dismiss women’s struggles. That women continue this cycle of care is remarkable. Generations of men owe their socialization, education, and nurturing to women who sacrificed their own ambitions. Still, women are rarely recognized as architects of character.

8. Because Women Choose Men Despite Their ConditioningFrom locker-room talk to toxic masculinity, boys are conditioned into behaviors that harm relationships. They are not taught to listen, to nurture, or to see women as equals. Yet women still choose to love men, knowing they are often products of this conditioning. Instead of abandoning men to the limitations of patriarchy, women invest time and care into helping them unlearn harmful behaviors. This choice is not naïve—it’s evidence of resilience and belief in growth.

9. Because Women Risk Losing Their Identity in Relationships Even today, many women give up careers, passions, or parts of themselves to support their partners’ ambitions. Men rarely face the same demand. A woman choosing a man is often choosing to compromise her own individuality — and yet she does it in hope of building something greater together. Women are still more likely to change surnames, relocate for their husband’s job, or take on a disproportionate share of childcare. That sacrifice is not natural—it is conditioned. Yet men benefit from it daily.

10. Because Women Still Believe Men Can Do Better Why One Honest ‘Sorry’ Can Save Your Relationship More Than Months of Therapy Perhaps the most powerful reason: women haven’t given up. Despite patriarchy’s weight, despite repeated disappointments, women continue to believe that men are capable of change, of growth, of love without dominance. That belief is why men still have partners at all. Without this belief, many men would be left alone, facing their own unexamined flaws. Women’s belief in men’s potential is not endless—gratitude requires men to rise to the occasion.

Men, This Is Your Wake-Up CallIf you are a man reading this, understand: women are not lucky to have you. You are lucky that women still choose you, despite centuries of conditioning that taught them to serve, to forgive, and to settle. You are lucky that women love with such persistence, nurture with such patience, and fight for relationships even when society demands that they endure in silence.

But here’s the truth most men don’t want to face - patriarchy didn’t just harm women, it stunted men too. It raised you to confuse control with love, silence with respect, and entitlement with masculinity. It made you believe that women exist to complete you, when in reality, they have always been completing themselves with or without you.

The least you can do is recognize this, unlearn the toxic inheritance of patriarchy, and start showing up differently. Gratitude is not enough. Flowers, apologies, and social-media hashtags are not enough. Change is the only currency that matters. Because one day, women will stop carrying the burden of men’s growth. One day, they will stop forgiving what should never have been done.

And when that day comes, it won’t be women who lose. It will be men, left behind by the very people who kept choosing them long after they stopped deserving to be chosen.