I know she's daft. I know she has form for saying and doing the wrong thing but I felt sorry for Sarah Ferguson this week when publishers pulped 10,000 copies of her new children's book because they know no-one's going to touch it. Or her. Say what you like about Fergie, but she's always been a grafter. She's had to be because for years the royals treated her pretty appallingly and left her with no money. So she literally sold herself, made millions and then frittered it all away. Not good I know.
But she did stick by Andrew and because of that - and that stupid, grovelling email she wrote to Jeffrey Epstein - she's now as socially toxic and unemployable as her ex-husband. Thank God she's got Beatrice and Eugenie. Because there must be days when she sees them as the only good things in her sad mess of a life!
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Someone asked me this week what would be my perfect Christmas gift. No hesitation - a general election!
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Kate Winslet admitted on a US chat show that when she met the King for the first time, she forgot she was wearing a see-through dress. Pull the other one luv! Sorry, but any woman meeting royalty spends weeks agonising over what to wear. They don't just throw on a see-through frock and forget its see-through.
Winslet says the meeting happened 30 years ago at the premiere of Sense and Sensibility. And yes, she was only 20 but even at that age being presented to a royal prince is HUGE!
Methinks that in pretending meeting the heir to the throne wasn't a big deal, Ms Winslet is behaving like a bit of a princess herself here!
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I'm a Celeb bosses say they're "keeping an eye on" Jack Osbourne because he's already broken down talking about dad Ozzy's death, he's snapped at Kelly Brook for cutting some potatoes the wrong way and he's being controlling with campmates.
Sorry, grief doesn't entitle you to behave like a prat. If his dad's death is still so raw, maybe Jack shouldn't have taken the big bucks to go do a gruelling TV show and ITV bosses, who claim to care about people's mental health, maybe shouldn't have let him!
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Keir Starmer said this week: "I will lead Labour into the next election." Which confirms how delusional and totally out of touch this plonker is, because ministers and MPs are now openly plotting against him.
A soft-Left group called The Tribune Group now says it has the 80 signatures needed to force a leadership contest. And Norwich South MP Clive Lewis has already offered to give Andy Burnham his safe seat so he can run for the leadership. What does it take for Starmer to get that he's finished - an announcement on the BBC?
Mind you, with its reputation for fake news, he'd be justified in not believing that!
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Angela Rippon, 81, says she'd love to be the new host of Strictly. And she should be. She's razor sharp, she can dance, she's fitter than most 30-year-olds and she knows TV inside out. It would also be one in the eye for the misogynist, ex-BBC boss, John Birt, who told her when she was just 50 that she'd "had her day".
Birt's like all those other ageist TV bosses - who're still around - who think it's perfectly fine to have 75-year-old blokes fronting TV shows but that women over 50 should be dead or thrown on the scrap heap!
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I'm glad the fantastic Line of Duty series is returning to our screens next year. Because while I love Vicky McClure, Trigger Point is now beyond tedious. There's only so many times you can watch someone defusing a bomb before it starts to feel boring and old hat!
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I hope Peter Mandelson gets hit with a £300 fine for peeing up against a wall in a posh Notting Hill Street. You or I would!
And yes, I know when many of us get to a certain age, peeing becomes a big issue. Men (thanks to prostate) can't always do it, women (thanks to dodgy pelvic floors) want to do it all the time. But whatever age you are, there's always a bit of a warning so there's really no excuse for using public spaces as a personal toilet.
Especially those who think they're a cut above the rest of us!
