In Rajasthan, marriages are held with great pomp and show, as if that of a Maharaja is no less. But these days a very old ritual is being discussed a lot on social media. Its name is ‘milking’. In this ritual, just before the marriage, the mother breastfeeds her grown son (i.e. the groom). Meaning, milk is not actually fed, just as a custom, the mother places the son’s head inside her pallu and the groom puts his mouth on it like a child.
Recently, a video of Suresh Bhadu, a groom from Bijolia village of Bhilwara district, is going viral. In the video, his mother is feeding him milk like this, a few minutes before the procession leaves. As soon as this video was posted on Twitter, millions of people watched it. People wrote, ‘There is a unique tradition in Bhilwara, Rajasthan. Groom Suresh Bhadu (Jat community), father Jetharam Bhadu. The mother reminds her son not to forget his milk debt even after marriage. Many people are saying that this ritual is performed in many castes like Brahmin, Rajput, Jat, Bishnoi, Kumhar etc. At some places it is also linked to the temple of Mata Shitala.
don’t forget mother
YouTuber Shyam Meena Singh explained in a very cute way, ‘We remain children throughout our lives in our mother’s pallu. This ritual only says, ‘Son, after getting married, do not forget that you have been brought up by your mother. Keep the honor of my milk. What is wrong in this? Those who are making fun of it have probably moved away from their culture.
Understand in very simple words, it is completely symbolic, no one drinks real milk. Just before the wedding procession leaves, the mother puts the pallu of her saree on the groom’s head. The groom puts his mouth a little near the blouse like a child. Mother blesses, ‘Keep the honor of my milk, never forget mother.’ This ritual mostly happens in front of women, but now videos have started being made so everyone is watching. Similar rituals are also performed in other states like Haryana, Western Uttar Pradesh, some areas of Bihar and Terai region of Nepal. Somewhere the mother does it, somewhere an elder sister or aunt does it. There is no such custom for girls (brides), it happens only for boys.
What does it really mean?
In olden times, when boys got married, they would leave home and live with their in-laws or separately. This ritual was to assure the mother that no matter how old the son grows, he will respect his mother and will not forget her. This is a ritual that reminds us of the love and duty between mother and son. Now two types of reactions are coming on social media. Some people are getting very emotional and saying – ‘It is a very beautiful tradition, mother’s love is visible.’ Some people are angry and are saying – Whatever may be the tradition, mother’s privacy should be taken care of. It is not right to make the video viral without asking, it seems like playing with the dignity of a mother.
