News India Live, Digital Desk: Many times such occasions come in life when someone close to us, a friend or a relative dies. That time is very delicate. We go to console, we also have sympathy in our mind, but sometimes some words unknowingly come out of our tongue which instead of reducing the suffering of the other person, it increases it.

We often start philosophizing or try to silence, which is not right at all at that time. Let us understand with great sensitivity what things should be avoided while speaking at the time of someone’s death.

1. “Whatever happens, happens for good.”

Please! Don’t speak this line even by mistake. When someone has lost a parent, child, or partner, there can be nothing “good” about it for them. This can make them feel that you are not understanding the importance of their pain. At that time, no argument or philosophy is useful, just standing by silently is enough.

2. “I understand your pain”

The truth is that you can’t understand. Even if this has happened to you too, every person’s relationship and way of feeling grief is different. Instead of saying, “I know what you’re going through,” it’s better to say, “I can’t even imagine how difficult this time is for you.” This seems more honest.

3. “At least he lived a long life.”

Sometimes we try to reduce suffering by citing age. But remember, whether the deceased is 80 years old or 8 years old – the grief of losing him is the same for the family. Belittling their tears on the basis of their age may seem like an insult to their feelings.

4. “Now stop crying, you have to be strong”

We are often seen silencing people in condolence meetings. This is wrong. Crying is not a sign of weakness, but a way to vent. Let them cry. Don’t force them to become ‘strong’. It is normal human behavior to break down at that time. Just make them feel, “Cry out, we’re here.”

5. “What are you thinking about next?”

At funerals or on the fourth day, people start worrying about the future. “How will we run the house now?” or “How will the wedding be?”—these questions are not for that heavy atmosphere. Just let them deal with their grief for now, worldly matters can be discussed later also.

So what to say?
Sometimes the best word is silence. Just sit next to them, if they want to hold hands then hold them and just say “We are with you.” This is enough.