One mom has a very specific philosophy about gifting that her daughter just couldn’t help but call out. Dubbed “weaponized gifting,” her daughter explained that she buys the worst gift imaginable for the recipient so their expectations remain low.
As we draw closer to the one day of the year when gift giving escalates to new heights, the truth is, we all have our own gifting strategies. Some people are highly organized in their gifting, while others wait until the last minute to get everything done. Some also have philosophies about gift-giving. For example, certain people refuse to spend over a certain amount of money, or even give homemade gifts as often as possible. But weaponized gifting has to be the most unique philosophy yet.
In Reddit’s r/MildlyInfuriating forum, the woman expressed her frustration with her mom’s unique approach to gifting. “My mom does this thing called ‘weaponized gifting,’ where she chooses the worst possible gifts ever so you’ll never expect anything palatable from her,” she said. This was accompanied by a photo of a gift that she apparently received from her mother, and it was pretty bad.
One commenter called them “tactical Uggs.” They were essentially Ugg-style boots covered in camouflage. It was definitely the kind of thing that you’d have to put a decent amount of effort into smiling at and thanking someone for when you opened it up. “I love you Mom, but what the heck?” she asked.
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After so many commenters said they would gladly take the boots, the woman suggested she should hold an auction for them. She added an important detail. “I think everybody is highly underestimating how absolutely terribly uncomfortable and cheaply made these are,” she said. “The insole in the boot is made of fake leather and it’s crumbled at the toe and won’t even lay straight. Not only that, but it feels like you’re stepping on concrete despite the very large rubber bottom that poses no sense of comfortability.”
Others shared their own similar experiences. “My mom used Christmas gifts to buy me clothes she loves and guilt trip me into wearing them. Picture a punk kid with green hair receiving polo shirts and khakis,” one person said.
Another added, “My narc mom loves giving gifts you can’t use but are too expensive or randomly personalized to give away. I’ll never not be equally annoyed and impressed she bought us a mandolin after my partner cut their finger off on a kitchen mandolin.”
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In a study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, researchers theorized why people give gifts that the receivers don’t like. “When a giver chooses a highly desirable gift, he or she is hoping that the recipient will be dazzled upon opening it,” they said. “In contrast, recipients care greatly about their ability to use or enjoy the gift and prefer more feasible or useful gifts.”
Karola G | Pexels
This explains why it’s not uncommon to open a birthday or Christmas gift and feel a bit underwhelmed by whatever you received, but it doesn’t really explain why this woman’s mom insists on buying such horrible gifts to manage expectations. Maybe she has some kind of anxiety about her gifts being well-received, so she just opts to get things she knows no one will like.
Regardless of her personal reasons for “weaponizing gifting,” couldn’t it be true that we all place a value on gifts that is a bit too high? We expect the absolute best every time we unwrap something, and we all know what the pressure feels like to try to find the perfect gift for a loved one. This woman’s mom’s approach might be a bit strange, but it does serve as a reminder that receiving a less-than-stellar gift is not the end of the world.
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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
