Dubbed “ex-partner referrals,” the phenomenon involves users posting detailed online profiles of their former lovers, complete with strengths, weaknesses and relationship “performance reviews,” according to the South China Morning Post.

The trend reportedly began after a viral social media post asked for an “internal referral” for a boyfriend.

“Can any sisters refer me to their ex?” the post read. “I really do not understand why dating is so hard. If I do not find a normal guy soon, I might need to start drinking herbal medicine to rebalance myself.”

The tongue-in-cheek plea quickly drew a wave of responses. One user from Jilin Province in northeastern China wrote: “How about my current boyfriend? If we break up, I will let you know. He is actually quite generous.”

Others presented their recommendations with striking seriousness.

“Born in 1995, 183 cm tall, works at a state-owned enterprise, emotionally stable, can cook,” one post read. “Downside: a bit of a mama’s boy. Worth considering.”

To bolster credibility, some even framed their endorsements in academic language.

“Based on three years of first-hand experience,” one commenter began.

As the phrase “referring your ex” gained popularity, posts increasingly resembled résumés. Typical entries listed location, age, height, personality type and zodiac sign, followed by advantages and drawbacks.

One example read: “Location: Shanghai, Age: 28, Gender: Male, MBTI: ISFJ, Zodiac Sign: Cancer.”

“Advantages: 185 cm tall, fair-skinned, works in the public sector, emotionally stable like a rock,” the post continued. “Weaknesses: Poor kissing skills, swears while playing video games. Condition: 90% new (no domestic violence, no infidelity; breakup due to long-distance relationship).”

Despite the humorous tone, some participants say the approach has yielded real results. One user shared that after a woman amicably broke up with her boyfriend before moving abroad, she recommended him online. The commenter later met the man and said they turned out to be a good match.

Observers say the trend reflects growing distrust in conventional dating channels. Many young singles fear encountering scammers, manipulative individuals or people who exaggerate their careers and appearances on dating apps.

“The risks of a blind search are too high,” one person wrote online. “At least if someone else has dated them, you will know whether they are good or bad. It is better than ending up with a scammer.”

Another commented: “The information is more transparent. No matter how good a stranger looks, it does not compare to two keywords from an ex: ‘Dated. Recommended.'”

However, critics argue that the practice risks commodifying people, likening it to shopping in a second-hand marketplace where exes are assessed for “quality,” appearance and emotional mileage.

“It is no different from shopping for vegetables at the supermarket,” one viewer said.

The trend comes amid broader challenges in China’s dating and marriage landscape. According to China Dailythe number of first marriages in the country fell to 9.17 million in 2024, down more than 60% from a peak of 23.86 million in 2013. Overall marriage registrations declined from 13.47 million couples in 2013 to 6.11 million in 2024.

In response, local governments have rolled out a patchwork of initiatives aimed at fostering a more marriage- and birth-friendly social environment, with some provinces offering financial incentives to newly registered couples.