Privilege is a concept that often finds itself at the height of controversy. It’s not always apparent through wealth or status, but it may reveal itself through subtle habits shaped by inexperience with certain struggles or discomforts.
In reality, most of us don’t get to choose the circumstances we’re born into. However, those circumstances tend to shape our expectations of the world. It’s how we know what feels “normal,” what feels safe, and what feels unfair. When someone has grown up with an inherent safety net and reliable support, it shows up in even the smallest, everyday behaviors.
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For someone who grew up financially stable, shopping for groceries is more about preference than affordability. They’ll pick out a name brand, an organic option, or whatever looks good without worrying about the price tag or calculating the value. Even if their total seems expensive at the checkout, it doesn’t stress them out or force them to sacrifice something else later in the week.
People who’ve experienced financial strain, on the other hand, always shop with a running tally in their heads. They look for deals, compare prices, choose store brands, and even put items back if they don’t fit their budget. Doing the math in their head is an automatic reflex, and it can be mentally draining.
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Surprise expenses are seen as inconveniences, not crises. A pricey car repair bill, a last-minute plane ticket, or an emergency medical procedure might take them by surprise, but it won’t ruin their whole month. They have savings, available credit, or a friend or family member to support them when in need.
According to a recent report by Bankrate, only 47% of adults in the U.S. have enough money in the bank to cover a $1000 unexpected expense. That means more than half of adults are facing serious debt if a car is totaled or a health emergency arises.
Without a financial safety net, an unexpected expense can cause a major chain reaction. They may skip groceries to cover the cost, borrow money at high interest, and put off paying bills simply to prioritize the necessities, sinking them even deeper into the hole. Living in that constant balancing act feels precarious, as if it could all topple at any moment.
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With a financial cushion, travel is a normal activity, not a complex operation. Flights are booked based on convenience, and hotels are picked based on comfort and location. There’s room for elevated experiences, like an upgraded seat, an extra night, or a last-minute excursion.
People who travel with financial instability have to approach it with meticulous planning and budgeting. They’ll typically monitor flight and hotel prices for weeks, trying to find the lowest cost. They’re constantly thinking, “How can I enjoy this without overspending?”
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Privilege isn’t all about what someone spends, it’s also about what they assume. If all someone has ever known is that their family is there to support them in a worst-case scenario, it’s easy to believe that everyone else has that too. To them, it’s no big deal to quit a job and “just figure it out later,” or to move back home if something doesn’t work out.
In contrast, for someone without that safety net, every major decision has much higher stakes. Quitting a job without another one lined up is a dangerous risk, one that can make or break them. Moving back home or borrowing money from family might not be an option. Not being privileged means knowing risk isn’t always reversible.
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A subtler marker of privilege is the ability to prioritize long-term career goals over short-term income. Unpaid internships, passion projects, or opportunities for exposure are seen as smart investments for the future. Sometimes they are, but the key point is that a privileged person can do these and survive on little to no income.
That simply isn’t possible for some people. Turning down income to build a resume would mean letting bills go overdue, skipping groceries, and avoiding student loan payments. While these opportunities can translate into higher earnings later on, they make things riskier in their current situation.
Hobnobbing with the wealthy is a privilege because they speak a language and share social cues that not everyone is privy to. Being comfortable in formal situations or environments is learned early by watching parents confidently speak to people such as teachers, doctors, and lawyers. There’s an inherent understanding of how to dress, how to ask, and how to speak, with the understanding that they’ll be treated with respect in return. They’re not afraid to ask questions, negotiate, and request accommodations if needed.
If someone didn’t grow up in these types of settings, it can feel overwhelming and even scary. They may not know the proper etiquette and feel uncertain about advocating for themselves. Authority is often intimidating.
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When someone consistently has access to connections or professional help, their first instinct is to figure out who to call to fix it. If they need legal help, they’ll hire a lawyer. If they’re struggling at school, they’ll get a tutor. Their reflex is to find paid expertise because they have the money to do so.
However, that reflex is different for someone who didn’t grow up with privilege. It would likely look like trying to figure it out alone, delaying action when they can’t afford professional help, or letting problems go unsolved.
When something gets broken or worn out, the default solution is to just replace it. A cracked phone screen? Upgrade to a new device. Wearing holes in socks? Toss and replace them. It’s not seen as wasteful, but as efficient.
Others are more willing to sacrifice their time to fix things than to pay for the convenience of getting something new. They form a repair mindset early on to avoid unnecessary spending. Watching tutorials to fix appliances and learning how to sew to mend clothes are cheap alternatives that stretch value for as long as possible.
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It’s not that privileged people automatically lack certain skills; it’s that they never had a need to develop them in the first place. Things were likely handled for them by their parents or by hired professionals. Maybe they never had to cook for themselves or learn how to do laundry, and they might never have to.
For others, they never really had a choice but to learn how to take care of themselves. On the bright side, they will benefit from having these skills throughout life and be able to pick up new ones more quickly than most.
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Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
