It would be natural to assume that a server who worked over Valentine’s Day weekend saw some of the most sickeningly sweet couples ever, but it turns out that’s not the case. One server shared his own experience on TikTok, and he was disheartened by what he saw.
Love looks different in every generation, so maybe we shouldn’t expect young couples to resemble elderly couples in the final season of their lives who are completely comfortable with each other. But, you would think that young couples would at least be, well, in love. It seems like even that might be too much to ask for.
Luke Bellinghausen explained in a video that he worked two 14-hour shifts over Valentine’s Day weekend, and he did not like what he saw. “What was worse than the labor was seeing some of the couples,” he admitted.
Apparently, many of the problems he noticed were actually the fault of the men in the relationships. “Dudes be hating their girlfriend,” he said simply. “Like, there has to be something that gives where dudes have to get better about communicating and speaking and, in general, acting like they wanna be there!”
Bellinghausen conceded that he might have been a little harder on the guys he observed because he’s a man himself and naturally picked up on their behavior more. Still, he really felt for the women he served. “Like, I felt like I was serving damsels in distress, bro,” he said sadly.
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The server noted that Valentine’s Day is a time when many couples who don’t really go out often decide to get out of the house for what should be a romantic dinner. Having this knowledge just disturbed him even more.
“It literally, like, became a refreshing thing when I started to wait on a table that was a couple and they so obviously loved each other, or liked each other at the very least,” he continued. “But that became, like, an outlier to me.”
Bellinghausen finished his video with a sad admission and a stark warning. “My body hurts, my feet are killing me,” he said. “But more than anything, it’s my heart … And we need to be better about dating in this generation. It scares me.”
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For years and years, the expectation has been that once you grow up, you get married and start a family. However, Gen Z is more progressive than previous generations, and they’re one of the first to realize en masse that this might not be the right path for them.
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The American Institute for Boys and Men found that male Gen Zers were much less likely to have dated during their teen years than other generations. 44% actually said they did not date at all as a teenager. There’s nothing wrong with not dating if you don’t feel ready, but the Institute did point out that this could lead to teens missing out on “vital opportunities for developing relational skills and confidence.”
A lot of Gen Zers just don’t take relationships seriously these days either. In an opinion piece for USA Today, columnist Kofi Mframa noted that Gen Z is choosing less risky behavior overall, which has extended to their love lives. Commitment is scary, so they’re turning to situationships instead.
This doesn’t mean that young people should force relationships to happen, but it does indicate that they just aren’t invested in romantic relationships like generations before them were. This is probably why Bellinghausen’s customers appeared indifferent at best. Love just isn’t what it used to be.
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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
