Dr. Hetal Gosalia explains that unconsummated marriages are common, caused by issues like performance anxiety, vaginismus, or fear of pain. Couples should seek sexologist-guided therapy, not unnecessary infertility treatment. Premarital STD checks and open communication, especially with conditions like epilepsy, ensure healthy intimacy and marital life.

I am 31, married since a year, but still unable to have proper sex. We want a pregnancy but do not want to go for infertility treatment. What should I do?

Unfortunately, unconsummated marriage is not uncommon. The most common reasons for men are performance anxiety, premature ejaculation and erection issues. A young man may wrongly diagnose himself with ED as he is unable to consummate in spite of a good erection while masturbating.

In females: fear of hymen tear, pain and vaginismus, the condition in which spasm of the vaginal muscles prevents the entry of the penis into the vagina. The couple is unable to figure out why sex is not happening. Most couples enter into an avoidance mechanism due to repeated failure. If this condition is left unattended, and you want a baby, you will be led by a gynaecologist for infertility treatment.

Let us agree upon one fact: infertility treatments are for those who are not fertile, not for those who cannot consummate. The role of sexologists in the treatment of unconsummated marriage is very crucial. We doctors take a detailed history of the couple and identify the root cause. Psycho-sexual therapeutic counselling is of utmost importance. Here, individual doubts and fears are addressed with great delicacy and corrected with the right knowledge. Lastly, they consummate the marriage and pregnancy is on the way.