As a respected motoring journalist for almost 40 years, Jeremy Clarkson has test-driven hundreds of different cars. The latest, which he has been putting through its paces by commuting between London, Cheltenham and Birmingham, is the Maserati Grecale. But the veteran Top Gear presenter had a significant problem with the powerful Italian SUV. While he had one or two minor issues, the biggest difficulty was the first impression.
"The worst problem was the egg-yellow paint job, a £3,840 option you should avoid," Jeremy writes in the Sunday Times. "This is a colour that works well on the cover of a car magazine because it catches the eye. "But in the real world," he adds, "it doesn't work well at all because people will point at you with baffled faces and say, 'Why does that man have an egg-yellow Toyota?'" In a world where almost every car is the same anonymous silvery grey, Jeremy would have stuck out like a sore thumb on the M6 as he made his way to Birmingham - a city that Clarkson's Farm favourite Kaleb Cooper has boldly described as "the best city in the world."
Despite his quibbles with the £113,000 car, however, he came away with a favourable overall impression. He was particularly pleased with the ability to disable various "driver assistance" features, such as warning beeps that alert drivers who exceed the speed limit or cut a corner.
"It seems the Italians have looked at the law that says the driver must 'perform a series of functions' to disable these things each time he starts the engine," Jeremy says, explaining that he had found an easy way to switch off the extra technology.
He wryly added that an Italian professor once told him: "You can have as many laws as you like in Italy, just so long as they are not enforced."
Among its driver aids, the Grecale offers advanced parking assistance, including a 360-degree surround-view camera, front and rear parking sensors, and rear active braking. All that technology might have come in handy for one member of the public who found her parking skills mocked by the Top Gear legend himself.
Marianka Swain, who happily confesses that she's a "terrible driver," opened up about a mortifying moment when she was "attempting to parallel park for the seventh time" near her family home. While the manoeuvre proves challenging for many drivers, she admits she had the "space the size of a football pitch" available.
During the "tearful" episode, she recalls hearing a "shout of laughter" from the road. She said: "I peered out of the window to see none other than Jeremy Clarkson doubled over in merriment at my pathetic efforts."
Marianka admits she "wanted to die" upon spotting the former Top Gear presenter on the pavement with a raised eyebrow. His expression, she felt, suggested she should "have another rubbish go".
Ultimately defeated, she said she "slunk down in my seat and begged my driving instructor to take over". She added: "This elicited a loud snort from Clarkson and a hearty 'Pathetic'. And off he strode."