If you want to control children’s tantrum, then teach self control according to age.
Samira Vishwas April 08, 2026 01:24 AM

Teach Your Child Self-ControlIt may be normal for children to get angry, scream or quarrel with others over small matters, but have you ever thought how important it is to control it. Self-control is a skill that not only makes children better humans but also gives a positive direction to their life. This is not a magical button that can be pressed to instantly discipline children, rather it is an art that has to be taught gradually and according to age. So let us know how to teach self-control to children according to their age.

What is self control?

What is self-control?

Self-control is the ability that helps children and adults control their emotions, thoughts, and actions. It teaches children to be patient instead of fulfilling their desires immediately. In children, this ability develops after a certain age, because the part of the brain that controls emotions does not fully develop until the age of three.

Why is self control important?

Self-control is an important life skill that helps children make right decisions and behave positively in stressful situations. Many studies show that children who lack self-control may grow up and go towards drugs, alcohol or wrong paths. Whereas self-controlled children are able to pay better attention in school, control their emotions and take wise decisions.

Ways to teach self control according to age

Ways to teach self-control according to age
Ways to teach self-control according to age

0-2 years of age: Children at this age display tantrums when frustrated by the gap between their desires and abilities. In such a situation, their attention can be diverted towards toys or other activities. Once they reach two years of age, give them a brief time-out to demonstrate the consequences of the tantrum. This will make them understand that it is better to remain calm rather than getting angry.

3-5 years old: At this age, give the child some time, until the child calms down on his own. This increases the child’s sense of self-control. When the child remains calm in a difficult situation, praise or encourage him.

6-9 years old: Children become a little wiser at school age. Teach them to think about any situation before reacting. If they are angry, ask to step away from the situation for a few minutes. When they do this, praise them so that they will do the same in the future.

10-12 years old: Children at this age understand their emotions very well. In such a situation, encourage the child to analyze his emotions and understand that not every situation is as bad as it seems to him. Teach them that the cause of anger is not the situation, but the attitude.

Teenagers 13-17 years old: Teenagers should know how to control their actions and stubbornness. Make them aware of the consequences of wrongdoings. If they slam doors or yell in anger, temporarily block some of their features, such as phone use. Encourage them by giving them back facilities when they show self-control.

When kids lose control

  • – When the child loses his temper, avoid getting angry or shouting at him.
  • – Remain calm and explain that screaming, tantrum or door slamming is not okay and can result in punishment.
  • – Do not fulfill the child’s demands when he cries.
  • – Help the child to calm down.
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