For Dr Sujatha, April, once a month of celebration, is now something she can never forget. Her family had just celebrated her husband Bharath Bhushan's birthday and were planning a family outing on April 14. But little did they know that fate had something else planned for them and her husband was killed in the Pahalgam massacre on April 22, 2025, reports TOI's Nithya Mandyam.

What was even more shocking that their four-year-old also witnessed the horrific attack. "He saw his father being shot. We were both splattered with blood," she told TOI. "He kept saying, 'Papa is hurt, there's so much blood."

ALSO READ: Paris Paralympics medalist Avani Lekhara raises issue with Galaxy Z Fold 6 after service center denies help, asks 'What should I do?'

'We balanced each other'

After the Pahalgam incident, Dr Sujatha's life changed completely and only void has remained. "I've lost my emotion... I've lost my smile," she says quietly. Bharath Bhushan, an MBA graduate, complemented her life as a doctor.

"He knew the world. I knew my patients. We balanced each other. Now, I don't have my emotional pillar."

She keeps his photograph in her clinic, believing that his presence guides her decisions. But the attack continues to haunt her to date. "To cope, I keep myself busy from morning till night. If I'm idle, my thoughts drift back to that scene," she said. "That moment weighs more than all the happiness we shared."

Sundays only for son

Despite long working hours across hospitals and freelance consultations, Sundays are reserved for her son. "I consciously kept Sundays free. He needs me."

The four-year-old child has not once asked for his father after the incident. "He's very calm, like his father. He doesn't throw tantrums when I'm not around. Only with me, when I'm home," she says, with a faint smile. "I'm thankful he's such a well-behaved child."

Gradually, she has helped him understand the loss. "He knows his father is no more. I keep engaging him, playing, and teaching. My family supports me a lot."

Dr Sujhata describes Pahalagam horror

Recalling the Pahalgam terror attack, Dr Sujatha said she was not too worried when she first heard the noise. "At first, we thought it was crackers. Then, I thought security personnel would handle it but there was no security in that area. Not even one person. If there had been even a single armed guard, this could have been avoided." "These attackers are brainwashed to believe what they're doing is right. Something needs to change. I don't know how, but this cannot continue."

"I'm always alert, looking around, even while driving. Not ahead, but at trees, and corners, wondering if someone is targeting us," she told TOI. When asked about revisiting a memory with her husband, she says it would be their wedding day. "I was so happy. I kept asking him, 'How could you choose me?'" They had been married for six years when Pahalgam happened. "I've pushed myself to keep going," she says. "But the loss, it's always there."

(With TOI inputs)