Marriage is a very different experience for women than it is for men. So is divorce. It’s not surprising then that a man’s response to a woman talking about her divorce would be very different from a woman’s response.
In fact, the difference was so stark for one recently divorced woman that she took to Reddit to share exactly what she learned. Going through a divorce is challenging no matter what, but you’d think that if a relationship is no longer healthy and flourishing, ending it is a good thing in the long run. Maybe that kind of thinking is harder for men than women, however, and that’s why they respond to divorce in very different ways.
In a post to the subreddit “r/TwoXChromosomes,” a newly divorced woman explained that she’s currently in the process of separating from her husband and has been slowly telling people that she’ll soon be divorced. She’s had to reveal her relationship status to everyone.
From o-workers, customer service representatives, the old neighbors she told after moving out, to family, and friends, all of them have heard a summary of this new chapter in her life. But, she’s noticed an interesting reaction when telling men versus telling women about the divorce.
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“Without fail, every time I tell a man I am getting divorced, he says some version of ‘I’m sorry.’ But every time — every SINGLE time — I tell a woman, she says ‘congratulations!’ first.”
She admitted she loves the reaction from women because it only further proves that life doesn’t end dramatically after something painful like a divorce. And from talking to both men and women, it seems other women are more than aware of that fact as well. They can see that if it had to reach a point of divorce, it’s good that it ended.
“Anyway, obviously I am full of mixed feelings at this time in my life. But I just thought that phenomenon was so interesting and I wanted everyone to know about it,” she added.
: Most Women Who Divorce ‘Good’ Husbands Have The Same Complaint Right Before They Leave, Says Research
A sociological study found that women usually felt more confident and had a better sense of control over their lives after divorce. Divorced women who were mothers also reported having better social lives, career opportunities, and an overall higher level of happiness.
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The results of that study match up to many aspects of divorce as well. An estimated 70% of divorces are usually initiated by women, and another study charted how people felt before and after major life events and found that women who get divorced aren’t just happy with their choice, but happier than they’ve been, on average, throughout their lives.
This could be the case because of how much responsibility usually falls on women’s shoulders when they’re married to men. For the most part, wives tend to be the ones who take care of all the household responsibilities, childcare, and carry the mental load day in and day out. Knowing this, it almost makes sense that women would feel a sense of freedom at being able to put their happiness first.
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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
