Hello everyone,

I am a 24-year-old woman, and my engagement (baat pakki) was recently finalized. I belong to an Awan family, and although we generally prefer not to marry outside our caste, my family wanted a doctor for me since I am also a doctor. Because of this, my engagement was arranged with someone from a Sheikh family.

My fiancé is five years older than me and appears mature and sensible. We do not talk much yet, but everyone in my family who has met him considers him a decent and responsible person. Overall, I do not have any major complaints about him.

However, the issue bothering me is his height. I am 5’3″, and he is only about 1–2 inches taller than me. I have always been attracted to taller men, and I cannot stop thinking about it. I try to ignore this feeling, but sometimes it genuinely makes me feel sad. I also worry that our future children may inherit shorter height.

Another concern is that people who have visited his family say they are very stingy with money. Although they brought a reasonable Eid gift and everything seemed fine, I still worry about what life will be like after marriage. I do not want to spend my life in financial restriction or in an overly frugal environment.

Am I overthinking these things, or are these valid concerns to have before marriage? Please give your advice. Thanks .

Solutions; Usama Chaudhary

Your family wanted a doctor, and they found one. By your own words, he is mature, sensible, responsible, financially stable, and everyone who has met him speaks well of him. What more are you expecting? Life is not a package where everything comes exactly as you imagined.

You are worried about a difference of one or two inches in height, while ignoring the qualities that actually make a marriage successful. As for future children, height is never guaranteed. Tall parents can have short children, and short parents can have tall ones.

The concern about him being “miserly” is at least practical to think about, but right now it is based on what others are saying, not your own personal experience.

Samya Khan

It seems like you are focusing more on what he lacks rather than what he offers. No person can meet every expectation. In the end, character, maturity, and values matter far more in a marriage than a few physical preferences.

Usman Yousaf

The suggestion is: get a divorce and find a tall abusive man, then maybe you will get over this overthinking. Instead of appreciating the 99% blessings, people focus on the 1% flaw that bothers them. Come on guys, please use your sense and be realistic.

Sana Manzer

These thoughts come up in arranged marriages. By the way, you can never really know someone until you live with them under the same roof. Lots of prayers for you. I always say that marriage is like a lottery—you either win or lose. Best of luck.

Jihaan Chaudhary

You’re not overthinking—you’re doing pre-marriage reality checks. That’s smart, not shallow.

Height: 1–2 inches taller is still taller than you. Attraction often grows with character, respect, and emotional safety. Children’s height depends on genetics from both sides and nutrition. Don’t base marriage decisions on “what if” genetics.

Being “kanjoos” is only a real dealbreaker if it means control, guilt, or lack of financial freedom. Observe how he actually spends money—on parents, charity, guests, and you. A mature and responsible person is not necessarily miserly.

Talk to him directly—not about height, but about mindset: money, life goals, and how he views a wife’s independence and freedom. His answers will tell you far more than what relatives say.

The story is taken from DHA Ladies official group from Facebook and has more than 139k followers .

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