Mental Health & Anger: Do you struggle to control your anger? The '90-Second Rule' could change your life..
Fashion News Era June 15, 2026 05:40 PM

Getting angry is natural, but how you handle it is a true test of your wisdom and the strength of your relationships. Whenever you feel angry, remind yourself that this emotion is not permanent. Take slow, deep breaths to calm both your body and mind.

Just as butter cannot be extracted from curdled milk, a relationship or a situation that has been damaged cannot always be fully restored, no matter how hard you try. In reality, the bond of a relationship is fragile and can easily snap due to words spoken in anger.

What is this rule?

According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist at Harvard University, a chemical reaction is triggered in our brain whenever we experience anger, sadness, or emotional hurt.

This causes the heart rate to accelerate and intensifies the emotions we feel.
Dr. Taylor states that this chemical reaction lasts for only 90 seconds.
If you remain calm and avoid reacting immediately during this time, the intensity of the anger begins to subside.
However, if the emotion persists beyond this period, it is likely because you are repeatedly replaying the triggering event in your mind.

Pay special attention to emotional balance.

Relationships often fall apart not because of major issues, but due to sharp, reactive responses to trivial matters.

Emotional balance is crucial in every relationship—whether between spouses, friends, or romantic partners. Suppose a loved one says something that hurts you; if you react in anger immediately, the situation could worsen.

But if you stay calm for 90 seconds—taking deep breaths, drinking water, or simply remaining silent—your mind gradually returns to a balanced state. This allows you to express yourself with greater wisdom and sensitivity.

What should you do when you feel angry?

Whenever you feel angry, remind yourself that this emotion is not permanent. Take slow, deep breaths to calm both your body and mind; this helps reduce stress.
You might also turn to your mobile phone, listen to music, or go for a short walk. These actions help shift your mind away from negative thoughts.
Afterward, choose your words carefully to express yourself.
The greatest benefit of this practice is that, over time, it makes you more patient and understanding.

What is the expert's advice?

Relationship counselor Sneha Mishra says that while getting angry is natural, how you handle that anger is the true test of your wisdom and your relationship. Every relationship thrives on love, patience, and understanding. In such moments, exercising patience for just 90 seconds—a minute and a half—can save a long-standing relationship from falling apart. So, the next time emotions run high, simply pause for 90 seconds; it could make your relationship even stronger.

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