Indians are particularly fond of stating that marriages aren’t just between two individuals but between two families. How much truth there is to that statement is for each couple to decide for themselves. A family’s deep emotional indent shapes the trajectories of our lives, careers and the many choices we find ourselves making. How extensive and exhausting is your extended family, and how one may want to structure one’s life and schedule around them can also turn the tides of how a couple finds its footing with each other.

An abrupt debate may ensue along the lines of whether one wants the extended family to feel welcome to come home at any time, (announced or unannounced), versus whether one wants the family over only at a mutually acceptable and prescheduled time. One might see it as perfectly okay to take the opinion of one’s mother in how to do up the home and how to raise a child, but the other might view it as juvenile and intrusive into the couple’s space. One might prefer living as a joint family while the other might prefer a nuclear unit where the couple has privacy to self-style how they live and decide how much...

Read more