Boy moms have a reputation for being weirdly obsessed with their sons, so it did not come as a surprise when one mother acted as if her 19-year-old son entering the world of dating was a tragedy.
The mother sought advice from other boy moms about how they handled their adult sons’ dating after she realized he wouldn’t be spending his life cuddling up next to mommy.
The anonymous mom took to Facebook to reveal her sorrows about her 19-year-old son starting to date.
“Hi mamas!! What do you do when your beautiful baby boy (only 19) wants to start dating?” she asked the Facebook group. “I was his first love and I just can’t imagine another girl. It’s hard.”
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The mother, however, did not receive the consolation that she was expecting. Most people found it bewildering that she was having such a difficult time with her adult son wanting to date.
Her post was shared on X (formerly known as Twitter) and people did not hold back from giving the mom a reality check.
“What a weird way to view your son. I have two boys and I love them dearly but it’s a different type of love, as a parent there will always be the day you are no longer the number one in their life,” one X user commented.
“This is called emotional incest. Children should never be made to feel responsible for their parents’ feelings — especially in the field of romance!” another user pointed out. “Someone needs to warn these young ladies to RUN for the hills,” another user wrote of the poor females who do end up dating the woman’s son.
Others online begged the mother to seek professional help.
Still, she does not believe that her obsession with her adult son was strange, and called out other moms for not having the same relationship with their own sons.
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“I didn’t know mamas could be so judgmental. I thought I finally found a place to share my feelings,” she wrote in a follow-up post. “My son is my best friend, and you must be jealous that you don’t have a good relationship with yours. As for us, we will continue to have a strong mother-son bond and won’t let any rude mamas convince us otherwise! #boymamastrong.”
While it is completely normal for a mother to love her children more than life itself and want to protect them even when they are fully grown, it is not normal to love them to the point of jealousy when they begin dating.
They are your children, not your romantic interests, and you should treat them as such.
There is no doubt that watching them grow up can be emotionally difficult, but as their parent, you should offer guidance and support when they become interested in dating. Give them advice on how they should treat their partners. Look out for them in an appropriate, non-creepy way. Treat their partners with respect (after all, they could become part of your family too someday!).
It is normal for young adults to lose interest in spending as much time with their mothers in favor of getting together with their friends, taking more time for themselves, and even going out on dates.
If parents demonstrate their obvious disgust over their children dating, then they will only drive them away — not bring them closer.
Mamas, allow your children to leave the nest and experience all of what life has to offer without holding their hand through every step. And remember — though it should go without saying — he is your son, not your boyfriend.
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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.
