A husband questioned whether he was wrong to get mad at his wife and accuse her of being “selfish” after she had a problem with his relationship with his sister.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, he claimed that his wife, all of a sudden, isn’t on board with the money that he gives to his sister from his check.
“Ever since I got my first major job at 21, I have been contributing 15% of my paycheck to a savings account. I wanted to save up enough money to get a really nice functional prosthetic leg for my sister who’s an amputee and lost her leg when she was 16,” the 27-year-old man began in his since-deleted Reddit post. He and his wife, 26, have been married for the last 2 years after being together for 5 and are childfree.
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He explained that his sister has always had to use wheelchairs, crutches, and a cosmetic leg to get around. Back when he and his wife were dating, and he knew that he wanted to eventually marry her, he confided that he had been contributing 15% of his paycheck to a savings account that his sister would eventually use to get a functional prosthetic and had no plans on stopping.
At the time, she found no issue with it, which made him happy and was the final conversation they had about it before he proposed.
After saving up for several years, he had finally put away enough money for his sister to buy the Ottobock C-Leg 4 Microprocessor knee, with physical therapy included so she could become acquainted with the prosthetic.
He emphasized that he never wanted his sister to pay for anything regarding her recovery.
“I let my sister know, and she felt extremely guilty about me spending this much money, but I insisted on it. And to say that was money spent well is an understatement. My sister is now very comfortable walking, biking, dancing, she goes on hikes, and it just makes me very happy,” he continued.
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However, the problems began when his wife confronted him about the money that he’d been setting aside for his sister. He explained that it was still being put into the savings account despite the fact that she now has an excellent prosthetic.
He reminded her that when they were dating, he informed her that he would always be giving money to his sister for the rest of his life, and it wouldn’t just stop now that the initial goal was reached.
It’s unclear whether his sister has additional disabilities that prevent her from working. However, the fact that her new prosthetic has allowed her more freedom indicates that she is likely capable of supporting herself if she explores the right resources and opportunities.
In fact, not only are there countless companies looking for a more diverse workforce, but there is also an array of resources for amputee job seekers that can help them not only find a job but also acclimate to the workforce.
“The parts might need replacement every few years, or even the entire prosthetic knee. Me contributing to the savings account isn’t affecting the quality of our life,” he added.
It’s understandable that as a brother, he would want to take care of his sister and ensure that she was receiving the primary and necessary care that she needed. If 15% of his paycheck isn’t putting him and his wife in financial instability, then it doesn’t seem like something that he should reconsider, but if it ever gets to that point, then his wife deserves at least a conversation to figure out how they can move forward.
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It might be easy to do now when they don’t have children, but if they plan on becoming parents, the 15% might become an issue. It could be a bit unrealistic that he’ll be able to provide money to his sister for the rest of his life.
“My wife again bought up me contributing to this savings account, and that my sister was taking me for granted. When my wife said that, I lost my cool and called her extremely selfish and pathetic, and then went and slept on the couch to cool myself down,” he recalled.
He immediately felt guilty about calling her names, especially since he’d never done it before, and apologized in the morning.
The couple were able to work out their differences, and they both expressed remorse over everything that happened. It’s nice that they were able to work out their issue and come to an agreement for the moment, but it could potentially be something they may have to revisit in the future.
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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
