A husband claimed that his concerns over his wife’s breastfeeding habits were extremely “valid” after she became upset by his insistence that she no longer do it in certain public places.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, he claimed the request came from a place of discomfort, which his wife didn’t agree with.
“I have been married to my wife for three years, and we recently had our first child. My wife is committed to breastfeeding, which I fully support. However, there’s a situation that’s been bothering me lately, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not,” he began in his Reddit postwhich has since been deleted but reposted on other social media siteslike X.
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He explained that his main issue is the fact that his wife chooses to breastfeed whenever they’re in public and social settings, especially when they’re around his male friends and co-workers.
He’s noticed that many of these men stare and make inappropriate comments, and while she doesn’t seem to mind and will sometimes laugh off their comments, he isn’t as forgiving.
“It doesn’t help that she basically gets topless when she breastfeeds, so they can pretty much see everything above the waist,” he continued. “I’ve tried to address this gently with her, asking if she could consider avoiding breastfeeding in front of these particular men.”
No one should be sexualizing feeding a baby. If he truly has an issue with the comments and looks from his male friends and co-workers, he should bring it up with them instead of making an issue of it with his wife.
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In fact, breastfeeding in public is a legally protected right. The Office on Women’s Health clearly states, “If someone criticizes you for breastfeeding in public, remember that the law protects your right to feed your baby any place you need to. You do not need to respond to anyone who criticizes you for breastfeeding.” Further adding, “Remember that you are meeting your baby’s needs. It isn’t possible to stay home all the time, and you should (and can) feel free to feed your baby while you are out and about.”
Perhaps her husband should take a few notes. In fact, he should be telling his friends — who, if they were his true friends, wouldn’t be making these comments in the first place — that his wife’s body and how she chooses to feed their baby is her business and her business alone.
His wife should never feel shamed into hiding when all she’s doing is caring for and feeding their baby.
“She feels that asking her to avoid breastfeeding in front of others compromises her comfort and our baby’s needs. She also believes that breastfeeding is a natural and essential part of caring for our child, and she’s frustrated that I’m asking her to adjust her behavior,” he continued.
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He claimed that he never wants to undermine her or make his wife feel unsupported, but it’s just something that makes him uncomfortable.
He understands where she’s coming from when she says that breastfeeding isn’t something she should have to hide. However, he just doesn’t appreciate his friends and co-workers’ comments and attitudes about it.
If he truly wants to support his wife then he should make sure that his male friends and co-workers are being respectful. His concerns about their quips are valid, but at the end of the day, his issue is with them and not her.
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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.