As younger generations of moms and dads get in the groove of parenting, many are opening up about their unconventional styles that can actually improve the growth and development of their kids.
While every parent reserves the right to their own parenting techniques, it’s healthy to consider other perspectives. It’s what makes you a better parent. One mom took to TikTok to share how taking a step back with her daughter in five specific ways has made a huge difference in their relationship.
Abbey Fickley recently shared the parenting approaches she has adopted that have helped her connect more deeply with her 9-year-old daughter and promote her emotional intelligence. In fact, it was caring less about five certain things that have most improved her parenting.
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Fickley explained that her family refers to swear words as “home words,” informing her daughter that they are only allowed at home.
She explained how she prefers to teach her daughter about context, “swear words included.” Additionally, by placing little significance on swear words, they’ve lost their allure, and her daughter doesn’t care to use them.
“This is a privilege so if you use a swear word to be unkind to another person, that privilege is revoked,” Fickle expressed. “My daughter doesn’t really swear. You know why? Because when we make things a big deal to kids, it becomes a big deal. I never made swearing a big deal.”
“Your mental health is more important to me,” Fickley relayed. “I want you to know that I’m listening to you when you communicate with me, and I want to reward you for that communication.”
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Fickley expressed how she wants her daughter to feel comfortable opening up to her and prioritizing her mental health so she doesn’t make a big deal out of missing a day of school if that’s what her daughter needs.
“Life is hard, not just for adults but also kids,” she added.
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Fickley shared how she isn’t strict about letting her daughter have playdates with her friends regardless of what day of the week it is. She asserted that the only condition she requires is respect.
“I really didn’t work this hard to get this home to not fill it with love and laughter, so literally come over, anytime,” she emphasized.
Fickley explained how she has stressed the importance of respect to her daughter. She doesn’t expect her to “blindly obey” someone simply because they have authority, however.
“I don’t care if you’re an authority figure; I care if you’re a safe adult to be around my child,” she expressed.
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While some parents may disagree with Fickley, she presented the valid argument that many adults with authoritative power have taken advantage of young kids because they’re easily influenced. Unfortunately, this leads to traumatic situations that kids may not understand at the moment.
To avoid this, Fickley teaches her daughter how to use her voice, trust her instincts, and never do anything she doesn’t feel comfortable with, telling her, “If something feels wrong, speak up, come tell me.”
Fickley shared how she doesn’t care what kind of music her daughter listens to as long as it doesn’t promote violence and isn’t offensive to others.
“Honestly, I have a T Swift lover anyways, but if my daughter’s ever having a rough day or she’s in a mood and she needs to go blast some Ice Spice, honestly, that’s none of my business, babe,” she shared.
Fickley demonstrated how by not overreacting to situations that are simply not that serious, her daughter is able to feel seen, heard, and safe in her environment. As a result, she can naturally embrace her unique qualities without exhibiting any concerning forms of misbehavior.
Individuals in the comments praised Fickley for her admirable approach to raising her daughter, helping her cultivate a strong sense of identity and self-respect.
“As a daycare teacher, these are the kind of parents I want to see in this generation,” one TikToker commented. “Good list. Less rules make the important rules more important,” another individual commented.
“My mom had a similar parenting style; I never hid anything from (her),” someone else shared. “I never fell in anything bad because of this.”
When parents create unnecessary stress for their children they are more compelled to act out in an effort to assert independence and autonomy.
As it happens, promoting open communication with your kids and teaching them what matters most at the end of the day without excessive or strict rules allows them to better understand themselves and the world around them, and it also encourages them to feel more comfortable being open and transparent with you.
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Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.
