I’m 28 and recently had my first baby three months ago. My husband and I have been married for five years. While my work is unstable, my husband earns a steady income, and I help him with the family business. Additionally, I manage all the household chores. My husband is gentle and reserved, focused mostly on work and earning money. However, my main challenge lies with my mother-in-law.

From the start, my husband’s family opposed our marriage due to our different religions. Perhaps his parents have never fully accepted me because he converted to my faith. Despite taking on all the household duties and cooking, my mother-in-law constantly criticizes our meals, fearing our choices are unhealthy. For example, she doesn’t allow us to fry eggs, insisting they be hard-boiled rather than soft-boiled.

My husband and I live in Ho Chi Minh City, while my in-laws reside in their hometown. Yet, my mother-in-law calls my husband daily to check on his work, income, and sometimes even asks him to lend money to relatives. We’re adults who can manage independently, but she never seems reassured and doesn’t acknowledge my efforts to build a strong family.

Her interference has strained our relationship to the point where my husband and I nearly divorced. His quiet nature made it challenging for us to understand each other, and my mother-in-law continually reminded me that I was “lucky” to have married her son, whom she considers the family’s pride. Instead of encouraging our union, she seems to drive a wedge between us.

Ultimately, I decided to stay with my husband because I love him and want to keep our family together. We struggled to conceive and were blessed with a child only after two years of treatment.

Now, despite those past hardships, my mother-in-law’s controlling behavior continues. She still dictates what we should eat and tries to interfere with how I raise our child. I am educated and have sought advice from elders, yet she insists on imposing her views, saying: “I’m only speaking up out of concern, others wouldn’t say anything.”

My husband is the only one in his family living in HCMC. My family has supported us tremendously–for example, my mother stayed with us for the first three months after our baby was born to help with care–but he rarely mentions this to his family. Meanwhile, his brother is more diplomatic, and his sister-in-law, who has a regular job, is cherished by my in-laws and isn’t expected to help with household chores.

I don’t want to be resentful, but I wonder how I can improve my relationship with my mother-in-law. I still have much to learn and would appreciate any sincere advice.

What should I do?