Teenagers will find a way around bans, say experts. They should be taught how to navigate the digital world safely instead

When Myra Dwivedi signed up for JEE earlier this year, she knew she would have to spend her days studying, not scrolling social media if she wanted to crack the exam. The grade 11 student deleted the Instagram app from her phone — she used to spend at least six hours on it daily — but an hour later found herself clicking on the platform via the browser. The next day, she ended up scrolling YouTube shorts at bedtime. “I had been on social media from the age of 13, so it was not easy to quit. But I kept trying to resist the urges and within a week, my mobile time was down to less than an hour. I also resumed playing squash, which was a fun way to unwind after studies instead of lying on the couch with my phone,” says the 17-year-old Mumbai resident whose grades improved drastically after she gave up on “mindless screen time”.

Dwivedi managed to self-regulate as she was aware of the dangers of getting hooked to social media. But many others her age or younger are unable to turn away. Is a ban on social media for kids under 16 a solution, as Australia has recently proposed? Mental health experts, both in Australia and India, beg to differ. While experts in Australia have sent an open letter to their PM, saying the ban is “too blunt an instrument to address risks effectively”, those in India feel it’s tough to implement bans as users find ways to circumvent them more often than not. Social media literacy is far more important than bans, they believe, in protecting children and teens from the ill-effects of digital excess.

“Social media has become such an integral part of life that we cannot expect complete abstinence. Our kids go to Google instead of the library for information, and we can’t change that,” says cyber psychologist Nirali Bhatia . “Instead, we should educate them on using social media and other online resources safely and efficiently. We should also make them aware of the possible dangers they may face online, as well as mental health repercussions of overuse.”

Ban not always a boon

Clinical psychologist Dr Manoj Sharma , who runs the SHUT (Service for Healthy Use of Technology) Clinic at NIMHANS, Bangalore, feels banning social media can add to its lure. “Today’s children live in a world of FOMO (fear of missing out). If we ban social media, kids will get even more curious and may go to any length to find loopholes,” he says. When the PubG game was banned, the number of kids using it reduced but those who were hooked started using international IP addresses to log in, Dr Sharma adds.

Bans can only work up to a point, Bhatia says. “Other companies see it as an opportunity. When TikTok was banned, Instagram immediately came up with reels. The only way a ban can be successful is if we have very stringent policies to enforce it, and also to monitor new content that comes up in its place.”

Experts feel social media is multifaceted and complex, so our approach to restrict use can’t be so simplistic. Besides, keeping kids away from the phone will also deprive them of many important learning tools. According to the US National Association for Media Literacy Education, cyber awareness enables young people to become critical media users, helping them understand how they use — and how they get used by — online platforms. US scholar Ethan Bresnick likens the online world to a virtual playground. There are risks, one can get hurt but there is also joy, connections and creativity, so we must support young people to stay safe while they enjoy the benefits, he says.

School plays a big role

Digital literacy should be part of the school curriculum and teachers should be trained to deliver talks on cyber safety just like they discuss safe-unsafe touch with kids, feel experts. “Young children listen more to teachers than to parents. So, if teachers start talking to them about social media use, it will be of great help,” says Dr Sharma, adding that students should also be taught ways to navigate the darker, uglier side of the web.

Bhatia, who runs non-profit CyberBAAP that conducts cyber safety awareness workshops at schools across India, says schools need to understand that media literacy is crucial in today’s times. “Barely four or five out of the 100 schools we contact to offer a session send a positive reply. Very few schools approach us directly, that too, only if there have been cases at school, if the parent body has demanded a session or if it’s an IB school that introduces internet-enabled devices from primary classes,” she says. CyberBAAP receives at least 50 to 60 queries every week from parents or teens who have experienced cyberbullying, sextortion or other issues online.

Lawyer and corporate coach Anu Lall, who creates content on policies, believes social media literacy would also help kids and teens understand how social media algorithms work, and how they dictate the feed. “If a salesman knocks on our door and tries to sell something, we are very wary. But we hardly realise when an influencer smoothly sells us an idea,” she says.

Child psychologist Riddhi Doshi Patel feels India should follow US surgeon-general Vivek Murthy’s recommendation to put warning labels on social media like the ones on cigarette packs. “I think every child who logs into YouTube should have to compulsorily sit through a video that educates them about internet addiction and cybercrime,” says Patel.

Control begins at home

Parents who are struggling with their child’s smartphone or social media addiction should reflect on their own decision to hand over a mobile, says Patel. “I have seen two-and-a-half-year-olds who can’t hold a pencil but are pros at scrolling YouTube, with parents taking great pride in that. They are to blame for replacing parenting with a mobile. They hand over devices to their little ones instead of giving crayons or building blocks,” she adds.

Most members of a WhatsApp mental health support group for teens and young adults run by Patel felt Australia’s social media ban was unfair. One child asked her, “Aunty, is the govt planning to ban social media for parents too, because they use their mobile even more than us?” Patel had no answer. Parents should lead by example if they want their kids to cut phone use, she feels. Experts say it is also important for families to have conversations about privacy and boundaries on social media. Dr Sharma says kids often don’t feel comfortable sharing their concerns regarding issues they face online with parents. It’s only when the distress becomes significant that they bring it to their parents’ attention.

Lall, who has coached many young first-time job seekers, says there should be a time limit for social media use for all age groups as “attention deficit has become a pandemic”. “Today’s youth don’t have the ability to hold a thought for more than 20 seconds, so how do we expect them to make decisions about which govt to vote for or what kind of policy should be brought in? Can we afford to sacrifice deep thinking as a society,” she asks.

Practise digital fasting

Psychologists point out that when parents or the govt restrict the use of social media, they should provide alternatives to fill their kids’ free time as well as provide offline spaces to connect with peers. “We need to understand that today’s generation does not make calls to talk to friends. Social media takes care of their social needs too. So, if we restrict access, we should provide more playgrounds and spaces where they can meet with kids their age,” says Dr Sharma.

A ban is an external reason to stop the use of a technology. When the realisation to curtail use comes from within, it’s more effective, Dr Sharma says. When kids know why they need to control, they come up with their own solutions to find a balance. He suggests parents introduce digital fasting or digital detox in their daily routine instead of a full-blown ban. This means parents and kids should observe 30 to 60 minutes of screen-free time at home once daily, and increase it to twice or thrice gradually. “They can use this time to read, play a game or just chit-chat with each other,” he adds. “The joy one gets from offline activities will make everyone realise the benefits of being without technology. Then, they will consciously curb their use of technology.”


How to help your child cut social media use

Ban mobiles during bedtime or at the dining table

Involve kids in creative tasks such as painting, crochet or play dough

Involve kids in home improvement projects — paint a wall, create a kitchen garden or assemble a bookshelf

Encourage kids to learn to play a musical instrument or pick up a sport

Teach life skills such as cooking and changing a tire

Enrol your child in a book club or board games meet-up so they can socialise with other kids

Make sure they get at least one hour of play time in a park daily

After every 30 minutes of screen use, ask your child to look up, move both wrists clockwise and anti-clockwise 5 times and blink eyes 10 times. This reduces strain on eyes, neck and elbow