Most parents would agree that bullying in schools is a problem. One mom, however, seems to think that once kids reach a certain age, they should be able to handle the problematic behavior on their own.

In a post to Facebook that was later shared on Redditan unnamed mom defended her daughter’s bullying of a classmate, insisting that 11th graders are old enough to “fight their own battles.”

The mom had no problem with her daughter bullying another kid for wearing clothes from T.J. Maxx.

“I recently had an ‘interesting’ encounter at a school function,” the mom began her post, explaining that she was approached by a parent and told that her daughter had been bullying that parent’s daughter.

“She seemed pretty worked up about it,” she wrote of the other parent, “but, honestly, they’re in 11th grade. Shouldn’t they be working this out themselves?”

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The mom insisted that their kids, who are presumably 16 or 17, are “practically adults” and old enough to “fight their own battles.”

She even justified her daughter’s behavior — providing a bit of insight into where her daughter got her unfriendly attitude.

“If you send your kid to school in T.J. Maxx clothes with no care for her appearance, you can’t expect her to be treated like a queen,” she wrote. “I’m not saying my daughter’s behavior is perfect, but I think there’s a bigger picture here. You’ve got to teach kids how to handle the real world, not shelter them from every hard conversation.”

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Since the pandemic, bullying amongst kids has been on the rise.

In a 2023 survey by the Boys & Girls Clubs of Americamore than 130,000 kids and teens ages 9-18 were asked how they felt about their academics, emotional well-being, relationships, readiness for life after high school, and the social issues impacting their generation.

Forty percent of youth said they were bullied on school property in the past year — 14% higher than in 2019. Around 18% of youth have experienced cyberbullying, and, of those, 55% didn’t tell an adult.

In an interview with NBCDr. Jasmine Ghannadpour, clinical child psychologist for children’s health and assistant professor at UT Southwestern, explained that the pandemic exacerbated a lot of kids’ stressors.

“What we often tell kids, is that bullies are typically people who are going through their life stressors and maybe they have their insecurities. And we’re seeing that projected onto another kid,” Dr. Ghannadpour said. “We had that stressful time. It’s not like that stress just disappears. It still lives somewhere in our body.”

“I think the pandemic was a stressful time for everyone for lots of different reasons,” she continued, “but in particular with kids, they didn’t have access to a lot of the coping skills they typically would have access to in terms of being able to go to school.”

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Parents must make sure their kids do not bully others.

There’s a big difference between allowing children to experience aspects of life that can help them grow, and completely disregarding an important lesson, which is that bullying is never OK.

There is no justification for ridiculing someone based on where they buy their clothes — or any other reason.

This woman’s daughter is not “practically an adult” — she’s a teenager and should be taught that treating people with disrespect is unacceptable. Even in the “real world” and in their future jobs, bullying is never OK.

The Child Mind Institute advises parents, “If you hear that your child is being a bully, start by talking to your child.” They suggest asking for their side of the story and giving them space to share any thoughts or feelings.

Then, parents must “get specific about what you want to see instead” and set “clear consequences for your child’s behavior.”

Importantly, parents must continue to monitor the situation, as one conversation does not indicate everything is suddenly solved.

: 8 Ways To Raise A Kid Who Isn’t A Bully, According To Clinical Psychologist

Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.