This is four-play you don’t want to engage in.
A California sex therapist has shared the four things she would never do with her partner in the bedroom — and her amorous advice has resurfaced as people pledge to make 2025 their hottest year yet.
Vanessa Marin first shared her tips on Instagram last year, saying she had settled on the four pieces of advice after working with thousands of couples over two decades.
Despite being a sexpert, Marin admitted that it has taken time to become completely comfortable with her husband.
“For Xander and me, it’s taken us many years to figure out what a supportive, compassionate and accountable relationship looks like for us,” she stated.
“Remember, you are a team, and you can work together to create a relationship that feels even more supportive and compassionate.”
First up on Marin’s list of four no-nos: making her hubby do all the initiating simply because “he’s a man.”
The sex-positive shrink proclaimed that both partners can instigate intimacy — and also implied that men like it when a woman asserts her desire for sex.
Second: Marin would never make her man feel bad if he wasn’t in the mood to do the dirty.
Other sex therapists have proclaimed that it’s important to respect your partner and give them space when their libido isn’t raring to go.
Pressuring them into a hookup will only cause them to associate sex with negative emotions in the future, per previous research.
The third thing Marin would never do with her husband: stay quiet about what she wants in bed for fear of hurting his feelings.
The therapist believes that a sizzling sex life can only occur with open communication, which means that it is key to discuss your desires respectfully.
“Be sure to discuss new boundaries and expectations with your partner in a patient, respectful and intentional way,” she stated.
Finally, Marin says she would “never make it about her” if her partner suffers from performance issues.
The shrink says many people take it personally when a partner suffers from erectile dysfunction — whether it’s a one-off or something more frequent.
However, “crying, pouting and saying ‘you must not be attracted to me’ ” are only likely to lead to increased performance pressure and stress.
Followers were thrilled with Marin’s advice, saying it would be sure to help their sex lives.
“These are great!” one person cheered. “There are so many ways we set ourselves up to fail with rigid expectations. Thanks for sharing.”
