Part of being in a relationship is enduring your partner’s weird habits and idiosyncrasies, but some of them can really cross a line. Chewing with your mouth open or never picking up your socks is one thing. Other habits are… well, just kinda gross, if not diabolical.

For one woman on TikTok, the horrors came in the form of her husband’s shower routine, which shockingly made many of the most infamously paltry male hygiene regimes seem downright comprehensive by comparison.

The woman was shocked when she found out what her husband does and does not wash in the shower.

Now before we go any further, you can breathe easy and rest assured that this is not one of those stories about a man who refuses to wash his behind because it’s “gay” or whatever. We’re leaving that entire narrative to the cesspool that is X (aka Twitter) and we’re not bringing that low-vibrational nonsense into 2025. We’re not doing it!

TikToker @britforreal's hubby isn’t THAT bad, thank God. But… well, Brit’s opening line says it all. “I’m so upset,” she said, “I found out how my husband washes his body in the shower,” adding a call for help in onscreen text that read, “This can not be how men shower!”

Now I don’t want to speak for the entire LGBTQIA+ community here, but as a gay man, I’d like to stipulate that in my experience this is 100% a straight man thing. My showers last basically the entire morning and regularly make me late for work because I take the duty seriously!

In college, I had a friend we all mockingly called “Hour Shower” because she took SO LONG in there that our other roommate once had to pee in the kitchen sink because he couldn’t hold it any longer.

But in adulthood, I have realized that — profligate water use notwithstanding — she was onto something. You have to clean your body! Yes, even your legs, white people! Suffice it to say, Brit’s husband does not agree, and… well, yikes.

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Her husband has a method in which he washes only two areas of his body and ignores the rest.

To really get the full scope of how HYGIENICALLY NEGLIGENT her husband is, she had him demonstrate what exactly he does in the shower. Her husband has a substantial beard, which I’m pleased to share he does wash because those things are basically germ nets hanging from your face. Stylish germ nets, but germ nets nonetheless!

But from there it all kind of falls apart. Basically, her hubby lathers up with body wash, “and then I do a triangle,” by which he means he soaps up the, er, upside-down triangular area of the, uh, “manly bits” or whatever euphemism is acceptable to the content filters.

We’re going to give Brit’s husband the benefit of the doubt and assume that “the triangle” includes the vital parts in the MIDDLE and not just the SIDES, please for the love of God. Please! For the love of God!

When he’s done with that, her husband says he “gets out his Mastercard” and “swipes” it down the cleft, if you will, of his backside to make sure that gets taken care of — which, devastatingly, is more than so many men online seem to be willing to do. So good for him?

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His wife quipped that he had to move out because of his shower routine and many women jokingly agreed.

“You have to move out,” Brit said in response to her man’s habits before asking the question most of us are probably wondering about: “You’re telling me you don’t even wash your pits?!” Which is a pretty substantial oversight!

He reported that he “sometimes” does which… OK??? What are the criteria by which he makes this decision? WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE MINDS OF OUR HETEROSEXUAL MEN???

Brit had other questions too, like why he was only cleaning the cleft of his backside and not the rest. “And you sit on a public toilet?!” To which he clarified that he never sits on a public toilet. Oh OK, problem solved! Count him among those who never wash their legs or feet, either.

“You can’t live here anymore,” Brit finally said, and tons of people in her comments had similar reactions. “This is breakup-worthy material,” one woman commented, while others reported they were immediately going to interrogate their own husbands about their surely equally unacceptable shower routines.

However, one woman had an even better idea. “BRB going to go talk to my teenage boys,” she wrote, “I’m not about to raise a man that does this.” Thank you for your service, madam, because this has to stop! JUST WASH YOUR ENTIRE PERSON, GENTLEMEN. Why are you like this?!

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John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.