My wife and I have been married for nearly four years and have a two-year-old. We moved from our hometown to the city to advance our careers, taking out a loan to buy an apartment shortly after our marriage. My mother-in-law came to live with us two years ago, but contrary to my expectations, she has not been helpful with childcare.

Our child’s kindergarten is a mere 300-400 meters away, yet she has never taken the initiative to drop off or pick up our child even once. Watching other grandparents in our complex actively engage with their grandchildren heightens my feelings of envy. I remind myself that the primary responsibility of raising my child is mine, however, a little support from her would certainly ease the burden.

A greater concern is my mother-in-law’s financial imprudence, which has led to our utility bills doubling or even tripling since her arrival. She idles away her days watching trivial content on social media and spends every afternoon buying lottery tickets, despite having no pension or other financial support. The money we and her other children give her vanishes into her gambling habit. She often laments that the money runs out just days after receiving it, and I’ve caught her on our home camera scolding my wife and her siblings for not sending more.

I have repeatedly urged my wife to discuss her mother’s spending and gambling habits with her siblings, suggesting they encourage her to curb her gambling. My wife warns that such conversations are sensitive, as her mother tends to react dramatically and insists on more financial support from her children, failing to recognize their financial strains. The grip of gambling is strong, and I often wonder if my mother-in-law truly cares about the well-being of her children and grandchildren and what legacy she wants to leave in her old age.

As a son-in-law, it is not my place to confront her directly. What should I do now?