Many people desire to experience love, but even more, they long for deep, meaningful love. However, not everyone will experience the all-consuming love often portrayed in stories or movies. Intense love is rare and typically occurs under specific circumstances, often involving a strong emotional and physical connection that may not last forever. While many will experience love in various formsnot everyone will encounter that deep, fiery kind of romantic love.
A new study from The Australian National University identifies four distinct types of romantic love, with one being the rarest and riskiest. Curious to know if you’ve experienced any of these love types? Perhaps you’ve felt the most passionate form of love — which also might be more dangerous than you think.
According to the study conducted by Adam Bode and Phillip S. Kavanagh, which followed 809 young adults in love, participants were grouped into four categories based on the intensity of their love, how often they thought about it, their level of commitment, and how frequently they were intimate.
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The first group, moderate lovers, made up 40% of the participants, making them the most common category of romantic partners. These individuals experienced a balanced level of love intensity, thought about their partners reasonably, showed strong commitment, and engaged in intimacy at an average frequency. Often described as “unremarkable,” this type of love is considered that because it isn’t particularly exciting or unique — it’s just not very different from what most people experience.
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The next highest-scoring group was the intense lovers, who made up 29% of the participants. They tended to be “head over heels” in love and had a higher proportion of females. This group was characterized by high intensity, strong obsession, deep commitment, and frequent intimacy.
According to The Art of Charmdopamine is released when people experience positive emotions, including love, and boosts testosterone production. This increase in testosterone is why people sweat when they’re around someone they’re in love with and why their libido is higher when love is new. For women, love also triggers norepinephrine and phenylethylamine, which enhance focus and create euphoria, often leading women to focus intensely on one man while falling in love.
The next category was mild love, making up 29% of the study’s participants. These individuals showed low levels of romantic intensity, obsessive thinking, and commitment. They have fallen in love multiple times, but typically for shorter periods. This group was mostly male and heterosexual.
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Mild love, as explained by Aaron Ben- Zeév Ph. D. in Psychology Todaycan be just as valuable as passionate love. He compared it to enjoying a steady, pleasant day instead of constantly chasing big, thrilling moments. Mild love isn’t about dramatic gestures; it’s about consistent affection, kindness, and loyalty. Ben- Zeév believes that mild love can deepen over time, enduring through both easy and challenging times.
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The fourth category of love includes libidinous lovers, who represent 9.64% of the study’s participants. This type of love is the rarest and riskiest. Libidinous lovers stand out due to their extremely high, well… libidos — boasting intimacy averages of about 10 times a week. They are also more likely to be engaged in high-risk lifestyle behaviors like smoking and impulsive shopping.
Despite these behaviors, they had the highest proportion of individuals in committed relationships and reported the lowest levels of anxiety, worry, and depression. While this challenges the belief that sex-based relationships don’t last, it’s important to note that most participants in the study were in committed relationships, not casual ones.
However, frequent, intense sex can create strong emotional bonds due to hormones like oxytocin and endorphins, which can make it difficult to move on from past relationships, as Mariyam Quaisar from the Berkeley Beacon explained.
This intense emotional attachment is what makes these relationships risky, with some Reddit users sharing how relationships after a libidinous love feel different, with some even describing themselves as “permanently deprived in (some) way.” Additionally, Sheri Stritof from Verywell Mind pointed out that high sexual activity is linked to improved intimacy and a lower divorce rate, further contradicting the idea that sex-based relationships are less lasting.
Love is powerful. The study makes it easier to understand how romantic love evolves and impacts human behavior. You may be experiencing the riskiest and most unforgettable love, but that doesn’t mean mild or moderate loves aren’t just as fulfilling.
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Mina Rose Morales is a writer and photojournalist with a degree in journalism. She covers a wide range of topics, including psychology, self-help, relationships, and the human experience.
