The 35-year-old Hanoi woman explains that a traditional wedding would have required months, even a year, of meticulous planning. “It would have been exhausting and expensive, and we would have been criticized if anything went wrong.”

Determined to have an intimate ceremony, the couple chose to wed in a remote location, keeping the date and details secret. “I wanted to fully embrace the emotions of this once-in-a-lifetime moment and savor the sacredness of becoming husband and wife,” she says.

They exchanged vows atop a snowy mountain in Ladakh in India, a destination they had long dreamed of visiting. The night before they stayed in separate rooms, keeping their outfits a surprise for each other.

The ceremony had no banquet tables or elaborate decorations, just an officiant and a photographer stationed at a distance. When the officiant pronounced them married, they recited their vows and exchanged rings.

“The photos from that day are our wedding pictures,” says new husband Quang Minh, 33. “We had a private ceremony that reflected who we are—simple, warm and without extravagance.”

The couple’s wedding style is known as an “elopement wedding,” where only the bride and groom are present. Popular in the U.S. and Europe, this concept appeals to those seeking freedom from traditional wedding formalities.

Wedding planners say elopement ceremonies began gaining traction in Vietnam around 2018, initially among couples with foreign partners. “However, in the past year the number of Vietnamese couples choosing this style has increased by two to three times compared to previous years,” Nguyen Hieu of Hanabira Wedding says. Couples often cite stress and the desire for personalization and a quiet, intimate experience as key motivations. “But the biggest reason remains cost saving,” Hieu says.

A traditional Vietnamese wedding can cost hundreds of millions of dong (VND100 million = US$3,920) or even exceed a billion while an elopement wedding cost is often comparable to that of a vacation. The latter is often held in scenic places such as waterfalls, riversides or mountaintops, prioritizing privacy over grandeur.

Minh Ngoc, 25, spent VND50 million on her secret wedding in Phu Quoc island. “It saved money and spared me from the pressures of traditional rituals,” she says. Her husband, Karl, a French expatriate working in Vietnam, was shocked by Vietnamese weddings, where grooms are expected to entertain and drink with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of guests.

“I understood his concerns, so we opted for a private ceremony,” she says. “Hearing him recite his vows in Vietnamese by the ocean was all the happiness I needed.”

Not all couples choose elopement weddings for financial reasons. Minh, founder of Mer Wedding Photography, has spent over five years capturing such ceremonies. “Many couples willingly spend hundreds of millions of dong to create a unique, private wedding experience combined with a honeymoon,” he says.

Some couples choose extreme locations, such as steep mountain peaks, for an unforgettable experience. “Transporting equipment and ensuring we get the perfect shots in these remote locations is always a challenge,” he says.

Hai Yen (right) and her Russian husband held a secret wedding in central Ninh Thuan province, in May 2023. Photo courtesy of Mer Wedding

Associate Professor Pham Ngoc Trung, former head of the faculty of culture and development at the Academy of Journalism and Communication, sees the trend as a natural result of global integration, influencing marriage traditions in Vietnam.

“Elopement weddings attract individuals who value freedom and dislike obligations.

“Many view traditional weddings as a financial burden, with couples going into debt to host large banquets and maintaining social ties by attending reciprocal weddings.”

However, he warns that it could disrupt cultural traditions and weaken family bonds. “We should integrate new customs but not abandon tradition entirely.”

Thu Sam agrees. While she had a secret wedding, she first held a traditional engagement ceremony. “My parents wanted me to have the freedom to decide, and for them, my happiness is what matters most,” she says. After fulfilling family obligations, she and her husband privately selected their wedding date and location.

Minh Ngoc also needed a year to convince her parents. Initially, they worried about how relatives would react as the couple planned only a small family meal instead of a grand wedding. However, they eventually approved after seeing Karl’s sincerity and understanding the cultural differences he faced.

“After posting our wedding photos, many friends were surprised by our quiet celebration,” she says. “But once I explained, they offered their blessings.”