Forget Donald Trump - if you can - for a minute. Instead of tariffs, Greenland, MAGA and other Bollywoodish over-the-top devices, let's pick on the man's favourite metaphor: 'Holding the cards'. As a cardplayer and ex-casino owner, he's obsessed with it. As any poker-faced (or not) poker player knows, the phrase means 'to be in a very strong or advantageous position'. So, when Don Don imagines himself holding the cards, he is wishing into existence the fact that he's holding destiny, power - and, apparently, the ability to make everyone else not holding the cards feel like they're playing Go Fish.

But, wait, the plot, like your soup with extra cornflour, thickens. Anyone apart from him - foe, frenemy or friend - in Don Don's mind is not holding the cards. What does that even mean? People are then set to wonder: 'Is he bluffing? Is he folding?' Or, is he just overusing a metaphor? The answer, of course, is all of the above. The beauty of this phrase lies in its sheer vagueness. It's the verbal equivalent of shrugging while wearing sunglasses indoors - mysterious, yet slightly ridiculous. In the end, the MAGAphor is less about cards, more about the art of saying something without really saying anything beyond, 'I'm going to win, because I've already won.' It's Don Don believing he holds the cards, while the rest of us are left holding the can.