Every morning, Elsie Gonzalez, a married mom of four, rolls over in bed and smooches the love of her life.
That would be her 1-year-old Maltipoo pooch, Massimo, a fluffy furball she takes everywhere — from the office to France and even the bathroom.
“Instead of giving my husband, Alex, a kiss, I wake up and give Massimo all my kisses,” Elsie, 44, a divorce attorney from Jersey City, New Jersey, told The Post. “It’s the same before we go to sleep at night.”
If Alex is lookin’ for a little lovin’ from his wife — even on their wedding anniversary — he’s barking up the wrong tree.
“If I’d gotten this dog before I got married,” Elsie laughed, “my husband might not exist.”
She and Massimo are a doggone match made in heaven. But for Alex, coming in second to the hairy little bundle of boy — who he and Elsie endearingly refer to as his “arch nemesis” — can really bite.
When his job tapped him to travel to Paris last year, a work trip he hoped would double as a romantic rendezvous with his bride, Alex found himself tagging along as the third wheel to Elsie and Massimo’s mommy-and-me tour of Gay Paree.
“I do love my husband,” Elsie insisted. “But he knew that if I couldn’t bring the dog, I wasn’t going to Paris.”
Alex, the poor guy (and good sport), jokingly tells The Post he’s learned to cope with the “pain” of being last on Elsie’s list.
But it’s a pain many spouses of pet parents are forced to endure. The bond between an animal owner and their four-legged darling is one that rivals the flame in most romantic relationships.
In fact, researchers from the University of Kent in the United Kingdom found the psychological benefits of having a furry companion to be on par with those of having a human honey.
“Pets increase human life satisfaction and well-being similarly to family and friends … to some extent, they are even a substitute for these,” wrote authors of the March 2025 study.
“The value of pets for their human caregivers appears to be very high, comparable to … meeting with friends and relatives on a regular basis, or even with being married,” the experts explained.
The furry findings echo previous doggo data, which revealed that 30% of millennials, folks ages 27 to 42, with a keenness for kittens or a preference for pups often prefer their pets to their partners.
It’s a fact that 29-year-old Misha Belle makes no bones about when it comes to her French bulldog, Winston.
“To be fair, I had Winston before I had my husband,” Belle, a newlywed Long Islander, told The Post. “So, he is my first love.”
The recent bride, a lifestyle influencer and “dog momager” who runs Winston’s social media accounts, got hitched to husband Mike in September — after her 7-year-old bowwow gave the guy his lick of approval, of course.
“My husband never had a dog before, so it took some time for them to get used to each other,” said Belle of Mike and Winston. “But I remember the first time I saw them cuddling together, and I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, it’s gonna work.’”
To her, Winston — a “top model” in Puppywood who has starred in campaigns for the likes of Petco — is more than just a pet.
He’s like a person.
“I swear he’s not even a dog,” said Belle, while fighting back tears. “He really understands me more than I know myself.”
Gary, a husband and father of two, based in Chelsea, shares a similarly symbiotic relationship with his golden retriever, Marley.
“I love my family — but they’re not always easy,” said Gary, a 30-something who chose not to share his last name for privacy purposes. “Marley is always easy.”
“If I’m having a hard day, I can put my head on Marley’s shoulder because he’s the one that keeps me happy and sane,” continued the proud dog dad, adding that his golden boy was crowned 2024’s “best-looking dog in the world” in a canine competition.
And for his unyielding loyalty and status as doggy royalty, Gary spoils Marley, age 7, with top-tier treatment — often to the chagrin of his wife, Susan.
“As much as my wife and I love each other, Marley’s the one I want to go and cuddle,” Gary said with a laugh.
He regularly teases Susan for being “jealous” of his and Marley’s bromance — witnessed by the dog’s more than 2 million social media followers. Before heading out the door, Gary hugs, rubs and kisses his retriever goodbye, before dryly tossing his bride the peace sign, in a viral vid.
Gary tells The Post that “the comfort and companionship,” he receives from Marley can “never be replicated with another human.”
To the Manhattanite and his fellow pup buffs, pets (sometimes more than their people) make drudging through the dog days of life all seem worthwhile.
“Anyone who doesn’t have a dog is completely missing the plot,” Gary insisted. “Without a dog, you can’t live your life to the fullest.”
And Alex — speaking from Massimo’s shadow, of course — agrees, noting that there is a silver lining for men who’ve lost their sweetheart’s heart to her pup.
“Guys, get your wife a dog,” he advised. “You’ll finally have someone to share the pain and agree with you.”
