Virtually no parent is immune to the allure of their phone. They’ve all realized they were dialed into a screen when they should have been playing with their child or having a conversation over dinner. The question is, what real effect does this have on kids? Most would agree that it’s not great for a parent to be distracted by their phone when they’re hanging out with their kids, but just how bad is it?
JAMA Pediatrics wanted to determine this once and for all, so they analyzed 21 studies that involved almost 15,000 children under the age of five. They were examining the impact of PTU, which is an abbreviation for parental technology use in a child’s presence. It turns out that while PTU’s impact on kids is subtle, it’s certainly present. Kids who grew up competing with a phone for attention display certain traits that other kids may not have.
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Kids who compete with a phone for attention may exhibit weaker cognitive skills than kids who don’t have to worry about that. According to Kendra Cherry, MSEd, “‘Cognitive’ refers to the mental processes involved in gaining knowledge and comprehension. Some of the many different cognitive processes include thinking, knowing, remembering, judging and problem-solving.” Dr. Mina Amin, a pediatrician who reviewed the findings of the analysis, said that this could mean kids are less attentive or not able to regulate their emotions as well.
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology concluded that it was possible that there was a correlation between parental responsiveness and how children develop their cognitive skills. If a parent is distracted by their phone, they are likely to be less responsive to their kids. This can be damaging for children as they develop their cognitive skills at a young age. If parents ignore them while they scroll, they are stunting their growth.
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Kids who compete with a phone for their parents’ attention may also be less likely to be prosocial, which Kendra Cherry, MSEd, defined as “those [behaviors] intended to help other people.” Prosocial behavior basically consists of the actions that connect us all. It means being a good friend and having empathy. When kids have less of this behavior, Dr. Amin said they might tend to help other people less.
Not surprisingly, prosocial behavior is something that kids usually learn from their parents. Before they are able to extend kindness themselves, they have to see an example of that from someone who is in the position of a caregiver. A study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that positive parenting and positive prosocial behaviors from children were indeed linked, and vice versa. If parents want their kids to develop good prosocial behaviors, they have to be there for them, modeling those behaviors and being a positive part of their lives.
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Decreased attachment may not sound like a bad thing. After all, doesn’t attachment mean that children are overly clingy? Not exactly. In this case, attachment actually refers to a child’s bond with their parents. The U.K. charity the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children noted that “disruption to or loss of this bond can affect a child emotionally and psychologically into adulthood, and have an impact on their future relationships.” Clearly, this connection is serious.
When a child has decreased attachment and isn’t bonded to one or both of their parents as well as they could be, Dr. Amin said they can become withdrawn. This makes sense, given the way the early connection between child and parent affects the child’s relationships later in life. Attachment is essential for children to learn how to form healthy relationships, and when they lack that, they’ll struggle. If a kid has to compete with a phone for attention, it will naturally affect their bond with their parents.
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Another sign that a kid competed with a phone for attention growing up is the way they might internalize their problems. According to The Handbook of Antagonism, “In youth, internalizing problems are typically defined as those problems to depressed mood, anxiety, and loneliness.” This may seem fairly obvious, as any kid who has to compete with a screen for their parents’ attention is surely going to feel lonely. One of the reasons internalizing problems is so concerning is that it can lead to the development of mood disorders and mental health problems.
This, Dr. Amin said, can cause challenging behaviors in kids. Those behaviors will likely be a direct result of any depression or anxiety that the child may experience. It may seem like internalizing problems is something that some kids just pick up on naturally, but parents’ roles in this cannot be underestimated. If they are pushing their kids away, then those kids are going to internalize their problems instead of letting them out. This is how competing with a phone can hurt.
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On the other hand, instead of internalizing their problems, some kids who have to compete with a phone while growing up may externalize their problems. This is essentially the opposite of internalizing. Instead of keeping everything held in and stuffing it down, the child lashes out. The Encyclopedia of Adolescence defined this as “[referring] to psychological problems that are manifest externally and are directly observable to others (e.g., aggression, delinquency).”
This follows what Dr. Amin said about causing challenging behaviors. It’s one thing to hold everything in, and that’s concerning enough, but letting all of those emotions out in an unhealthy way that hurts other people is equally bad, if not more so. Kids who externalize their problems may become bullies and just be unpleasant to be around. This could follow them around for years. It’s not worth it to give more attention to your phone when you know this is how your kids could end up acting.
Perhaps most surprising of all, if a child grew up competing with a phone for attention, they’ll be more likely to have increased screen time themselves. Children follow the examples they see, especially the ones that come from those they are closest to and care about the most. If their parents are always on their phones, then they’re likely to want to do the same. Of course, they probably won’t have a phone when they’re five, but other forms of screen time, like iPads, computers, and TVs, can be just as damaging for children.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that children from the age of two to five should have no more than one hour of screen time each day. The World Health Organization recommended less than an hour per day for the same age group. It may seem impossible to keep screen time down to such low amounts when it has become inescapable, but it’s important to try for children’s development. Of course, as kids grow, they’ll take on more screen time. However, no one wants to see a kid spend their childhood just scrolling behind a screen when there’s so much to do and see. Parents have to set the example for kids and show them that there is more to life than what’s on a phone.
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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
