Spending time with family is certainly important, and summer vacation, when kids are out of school, is a prime time to take advantage of doing that. One family embarked on their usual big trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s and spent nearly two weeks with them before the mom decided she just couldn’t handle it anymore. She cut their trip short by five days and shared why on Instagram.
Kelly Hubbell, a mom of three, assumed her family’s trip from Oregon to New York to visit her in-laws would be just like all the others. “Every summer, we visit my husband’s family at their lake house,” she said in an Instagram post. “It’s beautiful … But, it’s also a cross-country flight, a five-hour drive, and a ferry with three kids under six.”
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Hubbell said that although the annual vacation can be challenging for her since she still has to take care of her kids, she always does the best she can “to go with the flow.” This year, however, was different. Hubbell was actually sick and hit her breaking point during a Fourth of July BBQ. Her in-laws had stationed her husband at the grill to make food for the whole family, so she was left to watch the kids alone.
Hubbell described both her kids and herself as being overstimulated and over-tired. To top it off, she had lost her voice, further hindering her ability to effectively wrangle her kids. “I hit my limit,” she confessed. “So I made the call. We went home. Five days early. No regrets.”
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Hubbell gave a brief description of how different family members felt about their early departure. “Were my in-laws appalled? Sure,” she said. Was the family buzzing about how I ‘just couldn’t deal?’ Definitely. (And they still are.) Was my husband bummed? Yup.”
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Hubbell’s post caught the attention of so many social media users that she was actually interviewed by TODAY. The 37-year-old elaborated more when speaking with Rachel Paula Abrahamson for the outlet. Hubbell said that she instructed her husband, Shane, to let his parents know they were leaving.
“He was disappointed and I know he felt guilty about it, but he understood,” she said. The same could not be said of her in-laws. It turned out that their reaction went a little bit beyond just “appalled.” She said that although she loves them and has a good relationship with them, “they’re taking it personally.”
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It couldn’t have been easy to leave the family vacation early, but Hubbell gained invaluable insight from the choice she made. In the interview, she said, “It had become an unhealthy situation, and my anxiety was through the roof. Sometimes, you just have to stop people-pleasing. It’s not selfish, it’s protecting your peace.”
Licensed clinical psychologist Liz Nissim-Matheis, PhD, said being a people-pleaser is difficult when you’re a parent because you have to say no a lot. But this can actually help you. “Try to sit with that discomfort that you feel in knowing that your child is upset or angry with you,” she said. “Give yourself the space and time to experience your feelings and allow them to pass.”
Of course, the people Hubbell wasn’t pleasing in this situation were her in-laws, although there’s a good chance her kids weren’t too excited about having to leave Grandma and Grandpa’s house early either. Regardless, as a mom, it is not her job to please everyone and always keep the peace. Instead, she has to do what is best for her and her family.
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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
