Married men who seek out affairs on cheating sites all have this one thing in common
Sandy Verma September 10, 2025 06:24 AM

She reports on “current affairs.”

A Sun reporter who dated cheaters to shed light on their habits discovered an unexpected common denominator among the unfaithful — they all professed to love their partners and only wanted to cheat to have some “excitement” in their lives.

The scribe, named Mel Fallowfield, 52, gleaned this paradoxical-seeming insider info by going undercover on the site Illicit Encounters, which was created in 2003 to help married men and women seek some hanky panky outside the marital confines, the Sun reported.

The site reportedly has 1.5 million users, with sign-ups soaring in September, which Fallowfield attributed to summer putting a strain on relationships.

“Intrigued by the numbers, and with my husband’s blessing, I set up a ‘fake’ profile to find out what sort of men a site such as this attracts — and why do these men cheat?” questioned the so-called Donnie Brasco of extra-marital affairs.

This writer went undercover for the sake of cheaters. Steve Meddle/Shutterstock

Despite putting up a rather staid profile by Illicit Encounters’ standards — mentioning how she felt “frisky” and “liked politics and current affairs” — Fallowfield received around 30 messages in 30 minutes.

Many of the profiles the undercover lover perused were “quite similar” with cheaters looking for “stolen moments of fun” and claiming that they were “missing excitement” despite having a “good marriage.”

“In fact, many said they didn’t want to ‘rock the marital boat….how noble of them,” Fallowfield snarked. “I’d say 90 per cent of the profiles I read made it clear they didn’t want their marriages to end — and remarkably, they all doted on their wives.”

Fallowfield went undercover on the affairs site Illicit Encounters, which was created in 2003 to help married men and women seek some hanky panky outside the marital confines. baranq – stock.adobe.com

The first member of the fling ring, Tom, allegedly 62, had two grown-up daughters and said he was fond of his wife. Despite drifting apart, the pair still made whoopee.

“Many said they didn’t want to ‘rock the marital boat….how noble of them,” snarked Fallowfield. gmstockstudio – stock.adobe.com

This wasn’t the first rodeo for the sidepiece seeker, who had “successfully had an affair for two years previously, but that it fizzled out,” Fallowfield wrote. “He told me he was looking for uncomplicated sex and fun that wouldn’t disrupt the status quo of his marriage.”

She was taken aback when, at the conclusion of the date, the philanderer leaned in for a kiss, which Fallowfield “dodged successfully.”

“He told me he was looking for uncomplicated sex and fun that wouldn’t disrupt the status quo of his marriage,” wrote Fallowfield while detailing one of her dates. Dusan Petkovic – stock.adobe.com

Illicit encounter number two was a 52-year-old man with a 12-year-old son who hadn’t had sex with his wife since their child was born — but purportedly still loved her.

“He claimed to still adore her –which I soon realized is a common denominator with these cheaters — but missed physical intimacy,” said Fallowfield.

Illicit Encounters reportedly has 1.5 million users. Andrey Popov – Stock.adobe.com

Following her experience behind men-emy lines, Fallowfield concluded that cheaters were as diverse a bunch as any.

“Overwhelmingly, I realized that there is no type; these men were from all walks of life, some had children, others didn’t, they were from all age groups,” she said, adding that the only through line is that they professed to love their wives.

While a so-called cheater might be hard to pick out of a crowd, there are some telltale warning signs that one’s soulmate is engaging in sextracurriculars.

According to professional “honey trapper” Madeline Smith, who uses herself as bait to make adulterers reveal their true form, cheaters hide their phones to conceal scandalous correspondence, omit their significant other from their pics, and — wait for it — use Snapchat.

“There is no good reason why any man past school age should have Snapchat on his phone,” the pro-pinup wrote. “SnapChat — with the USP that it deletes messages after they’ve been viewed — is an app for cheaters. I’ve only ever known adult men use it to send and receive explicit photographs.”

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