There’s nothing more devastating than losing a loved one, let alone losing a parent. Whether you’re 60 or 16, having to say goodbye to a parent who has supported, loved, and looked out for you can truly alter the course of your life. You continue to remember them, but in life’s biggest milestones, it’s difficult not to miss their presence. For many, the only things left are the memories lived together and the stories shared by friends and family, often scattered throughout gatherings and conversations over the years. 

For Freya, a 34-year-old from Buckinghamshire, memories and stories were not the only heartwarming pieces of her dad she held onto. In the weeks before his passing, Freya’s dad wrote letters for her. 

Before his passing, a bride’s father wrote letters to her for milestones he would miss in her life.

When her dad Philip was given the news of his cancer, Freya was forced to face the reality of the situation. Unexpectedly, doctors told her and her family they’d only have six months left with the patriarch of their family. Especially when dealing with sickness, accepting the fact that you have a set timeline before losing a loved one can be extremely overwhelming. 

glebchik | Shutterstock

Like many children do when their parents are treated for a serious illness, Freya still holds the memories of those last weeks and months to remind her of her father’s strength. To ensure no milestone was left unchecked, Freya’s dad used his last few weeks to write letters to his young daughter, reminding her of him. 

As the head of the household and the loving father and husband he was, his legacy went far beyond just the letters he wrote for his daughter. However, when the memories are hard to recount or the smell of his cologne is hard to remember, his letters remained the foundation by which the family remembered his love. 

Freya’s father passed from esophageal cancer when she was only 11 years old. 

: Bride Who Didn’t Have A Father To Walk Her Down The Aisle Gets Heartwarming Surprise When Her Landlord Steps Up

After his passing, Freya held onto her father’s heartfelt letters as a reminder of his love and courage. 

Bittersweet. That’s how Freya described her big life milestones following her father’s death. From her 18th birthday to introducing her fiancé to her mother and even their engagement, the great moments of life were all painted with a smidge of sadness.

“We got engaged in our fifth year [of dating],” Freya recounted to The Independent, “and we threw ourselves into wedding preparations, but it was hard.” 

Trying to imagine how she’d be able to honor her father’s legacy at her wedding, Freya and her soon-to-be husband planned to dedicate many aspects of their big day to him. With thousands of ways to remember a loved one at their wedding, the couple narrowed it down to a few. A diamond necklace from her father, steel pans down her aisle, and a memory tree outside the venue were a few of the dedications made to her father’s memory and all the things he’d loved. 

At the wedding reception, Freya’s mother read one last letter from her husband in place of the father-of-the-bride speech. 

As Freya’s mother stood next to her daughter at the wedding reception, she picked up the microphone to deliver a speech more emotional than many. Pulling the letter out of her pocket, she told the story of her late husband’s letters to their daughter before his passing, mentioning that this one, for her wedding day, was the last that he wrote. 

“Today is your day, enjoy everything about it,” Freya’s dad said in the letter, “Laugh and cry. Be happy and confident.” Signing off from almost a decade full of letters, he added, “Don’t ever change. Love you forever, Dad.” 

: Father-Of-The-Bride Sobs When He Realizes What His Daughter Is Wearing On Her Wedding Day

Grieving feels impossible, but letters can help heal from loss. 

While Freya was able to help grieve the loss of her dad through his words to her, often, people suffering from loss don’t have letters like those to hold onto. Whether their family member passed suddenly or their relationship was less direct, reading letters from a loved one is not entirely feasible. 

Regardless of the situation, everyone mourns in their own way. A Harvard Health study suggested letters as a way to combat that grief, but in an unsuspecting way, from the story above. Using a journal to help pour out feelings of grief or air out conversations you’d hoped to have with loved ones can help to improve mood, ease stress, and find comfort following the passing of a loved one. 

So instead of reading them, you can write letters to loved ones who’ve passed. Or if that feels too difficult, you can write them to yourself — or to nobody. Just recounting and spilling out emotions can help to heal parts of you broken from loss. So if you’re feeling desperate or heartbroken, and don’t have letters to connect you like Freya has with her father, consider writing some of your own.

: The 4 Things Grief Counselors Do First When Someone They Love Is Hurting

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.