Many parents grow up believing that “good” children are silent, obedient, and agreeable. We praise politeness, correct interruptions, and often discourage any form of talking back. While good manners are important, teaching blind obedience can do more harm than good in the long run. Parenting expert and conscious coaching advocate Reem Raouda believes that children must be encouraged to express their thoughts, disagree respectfully, and stand up for themselves, even when it feels uncomfortable for adults.

In a CNBC report, according to Raouda, a child’s dignity, their feelings, boundaries, ideas and emotional truth, should never be valued less than their obedience. When children are given safe space to express themselves, they grow into confident adults who know how to advocate for their needs in friendships, workplaces and relationships.

Actor Dax Shepard also sparked discussion when he shared that he welcomes his daughters “talking back” to adults, including himself. His reasoning is simple: he wants them to feel strong enough to speak up in situations where they may feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or disrespected in the future.

Redefining disrespect: Speaking up is not being rudeMany parents mistake “talking back” for disrespect. In reality, there is a big difference between being defiant and expressing disagreement. When a child says, “That’s not fair” or “I don’t feel okay with that,” they are using language to share their emotions. Silencing these responses can teach them to suppress their voice and ignore their own boundaries.

Children who grow up in environments that overemphasize obedience may become people-pleasers. They put others first at the expense of their own needs, growing into adults who struggle with anxiety, burnout, and weak boundaries. Teaching kids that it is okay to say “no,” question decisions, or share discomfort equips them with essential emotional skills for life.

Respect is not about silence; it is about communication with awareness and empathy.

The power of modeling empathy at homeChildren don’t learn respect from lectures, they learn it by watching their parents. The way adults handle conflict, disappointment, and emotions becomes the blueprint for a child’s behavior. When parents express their feelings clearly, listen without interrupting, and respond calmly, children absorb those habits naturally.

Allowing children to name their emotions like “I feel upset,” “I’m frustrated,” “That made me sad” teaches them how to communicate instead of exploding or shutting down. It also builds emotional intelligence and self-regulation.

Apologizing is equally important. When a parent admits a mistake or says sorry for raising their voice, it teaches children humility, accountability and respect. It shows them that even adults are learning how to handle emotions better.

Raising assertive, compassionate childrenThere is a fine line between confidence and cruelty. An assertive child can clearly express their needs while still caring about others’ feelings. This balance begins at home through consistent modeling, open conversations, and emotional safety.

Instead of forcing constant “please” and “thank you,” experts suggest showing those behaviours in your own interactions. Children imitate what they see more than what they are told.

Raising children who can speak up, ask questions, and set boundaries is not a parenting failure — it is a parenting success. The world needs more adults who know their worth and respect the worth of others too.