Elizabeth Shaw, a life coach, shared some habits that may signal that someone is a narcissist. She explained, “Mornings can be difficult enough, but when you live with a narcissist, they often become emotionally exhausting. Narcissists display strange morning habits that set the tone for the entire household, leaving others walking on eggshells.”
Determining if someone is a narcissist can sometimes be a difficult task. Narcissistic traits and habits exist on a spectrum, and many behaviors can appear subtle enough to wonder if there’s truly a problem. Misinterpreting or overgeneralizing the behavior of a narcissist is common, but Shaw knows how to spot one solely by how they wake up.
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Narcissists have fragile self-esteem below the surface, so misinterpreted situations that happen right away in the morning can feel like personal slights. They tend to immediately look for signs of disrespect, like a misplaced mug or a noisy alarm, because they’re so sensitive to it. If their expectations aren’t perfectly met, they may react with irritation to try to regain control.
Additionally, they may wake up holding onto unresolved emotions from the previous day, continuing their resentment or frustration. Instead of internally processing those feelings, they project them externally onto others.
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Narcissists also have a habit of wanting to ruin the morning for others. They set an expectation for other people in the house, and if they are still sleeping or not responding, it can feel like being ignored. By waking everyone else up through slammed doors and heavy footsteps, they’re asserting their presence and making sure the environment revolves around them and their desires from the very start of the day.
On the other hand, narcissists may simply have a disregard or lack of awareness for others. When they’re awake, they might assume everyone else should be too. Prioritizing their schedule and emotions often comes before others’ need for rest.
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Emotional dominance is the name of the game for narcissists. They use their surroundings to regulate their own internal state. If they feel calm, they expect others to act accordingly. However, if they’re irritated or upset, they may try to put others in that same emotional space to help them feel more secure.
Narcissists struggle to tolerate others being emotionally independent. Differing moods can make them feel invalidated or threatened, so they might try to pressure someone to align with their feelings. Over time, others may learn to automatically adjust to match a narcissist’s mood swings so they can avoid a conflict.
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When narcissists wake up and don’t immediately get attention, they’re likely to start an argument just to reestablish control. It’s an easy way to get people to engage and get others to react.
These types of people prefer to place the blame on others, so they often find ways to gaslight and twist the situation to make it someone else’s responsibility. Being at fault would threaten a narcissist’s competence and superiority, so they instinctively defend against it.
Narcissists rely on external validation from others, even first thing in the morning. It’s a strategic method to reassure them they’re still the center of focus, even after hours spent sleeping.
Easing into the day doesn’t exist to them, and they expect everyone else to operate at full speed as well. If this doesn’t happen, it often brings frustration, which ironically gets them attention anyway. Either way, the narcissist wins.
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Small inconveniences in the morning can be disproportionately important to a narcissist. Rather than recognizing when they’re stressed out or anxious, these feelings get attached to an occurrence outside of them and blown up into a bigger problem.
Others come to anticipate these conflicts, making mornings consistently tense and overcharged. Narcissists thrive in this kind of environment because they know they hold all of the control.
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Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
