During one of my usual rounds of the school, I met Trishna, who was sitting alone during recess, her face clouded with worry. She had been struggling with her exams and the pressure was visibly taking a toll on her. I approached her gently and we started talking. After a few nudges and comforting words, she confided in me about her fear of failing and how it made her feel inadequate compared to her classmates. This is not just about her, it's about millions of students who go through similar emotions, each year.

As educators, one of our greatest challenges is not just helping students overcome poor academic performance but prosper in life. In my experience as a teacher, I have observed how different parenting approaches can either support or hinder a child’s ability to thrive academically, particularly when faced with setbacks.

While schools play a crucial role in shaping a child's educational journey , we cannot ignore the significant influence parenting styles have on a student's success. Poor academic performance is often the result of various factors, including emotional issues, learning difficulties, or lack of motivation. However, a parent’s response to these challenges largely influences how a child perceives and responds to setbacks in life. I have witnessed many students who once struggled academically flourish with the right parental support and guidance.

Child psychology identifies four main parenting styles—authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful—each with its own impact on a child’s development and academic performance.

Authoritative parenting: Often regarded as the "gold standard," this style combines high expectations with emotional support . Parents who adopt this approach set clear boundaries while encouraging open communication, guiding their children without being overly controlling. Children raised in this environment typically develop strong problem-solving skills and cope better with academic pressures.

Authoritarian parenting: In contrast, authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict discipline and high expectations but offers little emotional warmth. While children under this style may excel in structured environments, they often struggle with creativity, initiative, and handling failure. The constant pressure to meet high standards without emotional support can lead to burnout or rebellion.

Permissive parenting: Permissive parents offer warmth but lack discipline, often failing to provide the structure necessary for academic success . Students raised in such environments may struggle with self-discipline, time management, and goal setting, all critical for thriving in school.

Neglectful parenting: The most detrimental style is neglectful parenting, characterized by a lack of both emotional support and discipline. Children in such settings are at high risk for poor academic performance due to the absence of guidance and encouragement.

You are the first educator of your child
Through my experience, I have found that children excel when parents strike a balance between providing guidance and allowing autonomy. You are the first and closest teacher and a friend they ever met in their lives. Therefore, the onus to help them thrive in life is equally yours as it is of teachers and institutions. Here are a few things we could do together:

Foster open communication: Encourage students to discuss their struggles without judgment. Parents should regularly check in with their children about their school day and homework, creating an environment where issues can be addressed early.

Set realistic expectations: While setting academic goals is important, they must be tailored to each child’s abilities. High expectations are beneficial, but they need to be paired with achievable steps and guidance on how to reach them.

Promote independence: It's tempting to take over when a child is struggling, but developing problem-solving and self-regulation skills is essential for long-term success. Parents and educators should offer guidance rather than solutions, helping children build confidence in their ability to overcome obstacles.

Provide emotional support: Failure is demotivating, but it should not define a child’s future. Teach children that mistakes are part of learning and offer emotional support to foster resilience and perseverance.

A collaborative effort
Academic success is a joint effort between school and home. Parents play a pivotal role in shaping their child’s attitude toward learning and life. But most importantly, overcoming poor academic performance is not just about improving grades but about nurturing a love of learning, resilience, and self-confidence. With the right balance of support, guidance, and accountability, every child has the potential to move from struggling to succeeding.

If they learn to combat challenges with perseverance and the right attitude, it etches a critical life lesson in their minds. That day, Trishna just required a perspective change, a patient hearing. On brevity, what I told her was: Who called it a failure? It taught you, Trishna, the other 99 ways of approaching the same challenge.

(Author: Atreyee Sengupta, Principal, Ashok Hall Girls School)