Ravi- I will join the gym as soon as the exams are over.
Gappu- Why?
Ravi- By the time the results come, the body will be strong enough to withstand the beatings.

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Pappu- Friend, who makes wedding dresses?
Gappu- God creates.
Pappu- I let the tailor stitch it.

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Wife: Why sir, where did you get the wheat ground?
Husband (shameful) – At the usual place.
Wife: So after giving the wheat you must have gone for a picnic somewhere…?
Husband: I didn't go anywhere…I just stayed there.
Wife: Where is your attention…you must be looking at the women coming and going.
I know you very well…?
Husband (now completely terrified) – Actually, he got the flour ground while standing in front of me.
Wife- Don't lie, full attention will be on WhatsApp notes for a long time
I am doing household work, you don't pay any attention to it…?
Husband- No, nothing like that, tell me what happened…?
Wife: If everything was fine then how did the rotis get burnt?

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Boyfriend- Where are you?
Girlfriend- I am in the hotel, I am feeling very hungry, that is why I am eating here, where are you?
Boyfriend- In langar… I am standing in line behind you, take kheer for me too!

Funny Jokes: 100 rupee note to a beggar