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Mumbai: It is said, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” Yes, kindness is the greatest human virtue, especially in a world where we all are dealing with our set of challenges and struggles. However, you may disguise someone’s manipulation as kindness.

Yes, some people in your personal or professional environment may seem the kindest to you but they may be the biggest manipulators. Manipulation involves pressuring others, sometimes subtly, to achieve personal goals. The manipulator seeks to control, often by leveraging their ability to read emotions and exploit others’ vulnerabilities. Their primary aim is to gain power, whether in personal or professional settings.

If you want to understand if you are being manipulated, you need to look for certain signs to gain surety. Understanding if you are surrounded by a manipulator/manipulator can help you devise an effective strategy to deal with them as well as to protect yourself from their harmful intentions and beliefs and preserve your mental well-being.

In many cases, manipulators use tactics that are hard to identify but can cause lasting damage if left unchecked. By learning how to recognise manipulative behaviour and take proactive steps to protect yourself, you can safeguard your emotional health and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships.

Signs you are being manipulated

Manipulative behaviour can occur in any relationship, from the workplace to family dynamics. Some common tactics include:

Making you feel guilty: Manipulators often present themselves as victims or remind you of times they’ve helped you, making you feel indebted; knowing that this will make you more likely to give in to their demands.
Withdrawal: The manipulative tactic of withdrawal involves punishing you by giving you the silent treatment or intentionally ignoring you to create emotional distance.
Encouraging self-doubt: By constantly undermining your abilities or knowledge, manipulators aim to erode your confidence, forcing you to doubt your decisions and actions.
Gaslighting: Manipulators use gaslighting to confuse you and make you doubt your reality. When confronted with their lies or mistreatment, they may deny it ever happened, causing you to question your perceptions.
Complaining: Manipulators may display anger or frustration, especially in public, in an attempt to pressure you into compliance, hoping you’ll end the conflict to avoid further drama.
Comparing you to others: They may highlight others’ achievements to point out your perceived shortcomings, attempting to make you feel inferior while masking it as motivation.
Charming you: Some manipulators use charm, compliments, or flattery to gain trust and influence your behaviour, making you more susceptible to their requests.
Giving ultimatums: They issue ultimatums. Sometimes, a manipulator will resort to making threats to achieve their goal.
Selectively present facts: A manipulator may lie, make excuses, blame you, or selectively present facts while withholding others. By doing this, they aim to assert control and make themselves seem more intelligent or powerful.
Cruel humour: This tactic involves making jokes at your expense, often targeting your weaknesses to make you feel insecure. By putting others down, manipulators boost their sense of superiority.
Passive Aggression: A passive-aggressive manipulator avoids directly expressing negative feelings. Instead, they express their anger in indirect ways that undermine you.
Distortion: Manipulators may twist facts or lie about events to make you misunderstand or misinterpret a situation, often to suit their agenda.
Love-bombing: Love-bombing involves showering someone with excessive affection and praise to quickly build a strong emotional connection, usually to manipulate them into dependency.
Constant judging: Manipulators may continually judge or criticise you, focusing only on your flaws and making you feel inferior. They aim to undermine your confidence by never offering support or positive feedback, only highlighting your perceived shortcomings.
Identify your weaknesses quickly and exploit them to their advantage.
Convince you to sacrifice something important to you, making you more dependent on them.

Recognising these behaviours is essential to protecting yourself from manipulation.

How to deal with a manipulative person?

Learn practical strategies to deal with manipulative individuals and protect your well-being.

1. Setting boundaries

Boundaries help establish how you want to be treated. Setting boundaries allows you to protect yourself emotionally and physically.

For manipulative individuals, boundaries might include:

Limiting contact, or cutting off all communication if necessary- whether in a personal or professional setup.
Try changing your job if you are surrounded by a manipulator or manipulators (narcissists) for mental peace.
Avoiding oversharing personal details
Responding neutrally to avoid feeding drama
Taking a moment to pause before agreeing to anything

The nature of the boundary depends on the severity of the manipulation.

2. Seek support

If you feel manipulated, whether by a partner, family member, friend, colleague or boss, it’s essential to seek support, particularly in cases of abuse. You can reach out to a relationship counsellor or therapist, close friends or trusted family.

Recognising manipulation is the first step in taking control of your emotional health. Once you spot the signs, it’s important to set clear boundaries, trust your instincts, and seek support if needed.

By standing up for yourself and being aware of manipulative tactics, you can create stronger, more empowering relationships. Protecting your well-being is not only about recognising manipulation but also about taking the steps necessary to reclaim your power and maintain your peace of mind.