Life is full of challenges, and one of the hardest is dealing with people who have wronged us. Whether it’s a friend who betrayed your trust, a colleague who took credit for your work, or a family member who let you down, it’s natural to feel hurt and even angry. The question that arises is: Should you still be nice to them? Or should you retaliate, hold a grudge, or simply cut them out of your life? The Bhagavad Gita, one of the most revered scriptures in Hindu philosophy, offers profound wisdom on this dilemma.

Understanding Your Dharma: Responding with Righteousnessimage

The Bhagavad Gita, a dialogue between Lord Krishna and Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, emphasizes the concept of Dharma—one’s moral duty. When faced with injustice or unkindness, Krishna does not suggest passive tolerance or blind retaliation. Instead, he teaches that every action should align with one’s Dharma. This means responding in a way that is fair, just, and in harmony with one’s values. If someone has wronged you, being nice doesn’t mean allowing them to walk all over you. Instead, it means responding with wisdom and detachment. You do not have to stoop to their level, but you also don’t have to suppress your emotions. The key is to act with awareness and not let anger cloud your judgment.

The Power of Karma Yoga: Actions Without Attachment
One of the central teachings of the Bhagavad Gita is Karma Yoga—the path of selfless action. Krishna advises Arjuna to perform his duty without attachment to the results. This principle can be applied to how we treat others, even those who have hurt us. When someone mistreats you, you have a choice. You can respond with kindness, not because they deserve it, but because it aligns with your higher self. This does not mean ignoring their wrongdoing but rather maintaining your own peace of mind. If your response is based on anger or revenge, you become entangled in negativity. But if you act with clarity and compassion, you rise above the situation.

Forgiveness Versus Weakness
Many people mistake forgiveness for weakness. However, the Bhagavad Gita teaches that true strength lies in self-control and inner peace. Holding onto resentment binds you to the past, while forgiveness liberates you. Krishna tells Arjuna that one who has mastered their emotions and remains steadfast in their duty is truly strong. Forgiving someone does not mean excusing their actions. It simply means refusing to carry the burden of resentment. You can set boundaries, ensure justice is served, and still maintain a kind heart. The ability to forgive is a sign of inner strength, not weakness.

Detachment: A Higher Perspective
The Gita also speaks about Vairagya, or detachment. This does not mean withdrawing from life but rather maintaining emotional balance. When people mistreat us, it often affects us deeply because we are attached to their approval or validation. By practicing detachment, we free ourselves from the need for external validation and find peace within. If someone insults you, instead of reacting immediately, take a step back and observe. Why does it hurt? Is it because their words hold truth, or is it because you seek their acceptance? Krishna teaches that the wise remain unaffected by praise or criticism, treating both alike. This doesn’t mean suppressing feelings but rather rising above petty conflicts.

Practical Ways to Apply Gita’s Wisdom Pause Before Reacting - When someone treats you badly, take a moment to reflect. Respond with awareness, not impulse.
Focus on Your Own Growth – Instead of obsessing over how someone wronged you, redirect your energy towards self-improvement.
Let Go of the Need for Revenge – Negative emotions only hurt you in the long run. Free yourself by moving forward with positivity.
See the Bigger Picture – Often, people act out of their own struggles and ignorance. Understanding this helps cultivate compassion.

The Bhagavad Gita does not dictate a one-size-fits-all answer. Instead, it guides us to act with wisdom, righteousness, and inner peace. Should you still be nice to those who treat you badly? The answer lies in maintaining your integrity while not allowing others’ negativity to define your actions. Being kind is not about them; it’s about who you choose to be. At the end of the day, your actions shape your Karma, your peace, and your spiritual growth. Choose wisely, not out of weakness, but out of strength and clarity. That is the true essence of the Bhagavad Gita’s teaching.