Marriage is supposed to be about love, partnership, and, you know, actually spending time with your spouse. But enter the great Indian joint family system, and suddenly, your romantic two-player game turns into a full-fledged multiplayer saga—where everyone has an opinion, privacy is a joke, and your life decisions require committee approval. Date nights? Monitored. Closing your bedroom door? Suspicious behavior. Making a mutual decision with your partner? How dare you exclude the entire family from the discussion?! It’s not about hating family—it’s about having a life outside of their constant presence. Because if marriage feels more like a full-time obligation to entertain and appease an entire household, then when exactly do couples get to just be? Let’s talk about it.

1. No Time—Because Someone Always Needs Something

Couples get zero alone time; interruptions never stop.

You know that dream of winding down with your partner after a long day? Maybe sharing a quiet meal, watching a movie, or just sitting in companionable silence? Yeah, in a joint family, that dream gets stomped on daily. The moment you think you have a second to yourselves, someone needs you. Someone wants to talk. Someone just walks into your room like it’s a hotel lobby. Try closing the door, and suddenly, you’re hiding something. Married couples don’t want to feel trapped in a never-ending routine, surrounded by people who think their love life is a community affair. Just because previous generations sacrificed their happiness doesn’t mean you need to do the same.

2. Too Many Cooks, Too Many Opinions

Decisions require approval from the entire family.

Forget “husband and wife” making decisions together. In a joint family, every disagreement, every life choice—big or small—turns into a group discussion. Want to move to a new city for work? Nope, needs committee approval. How you raise your kids? Open for debate. Even what you cook for dinner is suddenly a democracy you never signed up for.
Heaven forbid a couple make a decision without involving the entire bloodline. Because apparently, autonomy is disrespectful.

3. Finances—Or How One Person Pays While Others Enjoy

Unequal financial contributions with no gratitude.

Let’s be honest. In most joint families, financial contribution is never equal. There’s always one person giving more, while the rest enjoy the perks—no questions asked, no gratitude given. It’s not about helping family; it’s about the absolute lack of boundaries. It becomes a setup where one person keeps giving and giving, while others act entitled to the comfort they didn’t earn. And the worst part? If you dare to question this financial black hole, you’re immediately labeled selfish.

4. The Wife—The One Who Gives Up Everything, Only to Be Ignored

Husbands prioritize parents while wives remain neglected.

Let’s talk about priorities. Specifically, how the wife is never one of them.
She leaves her home. She adjusts, adapts, nurtures everyone around her. And in return? Indian men love to say, “My mother sacrificed everything, so now it’s my duty to make her happy.” Sweet sentiment. Except they end up neglecting their own wife—just like their fathers did. The cycle continues. Marriage isn’t just about respecting parents; it’s also about growing up and treating your partner like a priority. Because if you’re going to get married but still act like a child, maybe just… don’t?

5. The Constant Disturbance—Because Your Time Is Never Your Own

Every small issue demands your attention constantly.

Having your own child? Managing a job? Trying to have one moment of sanity? Cute. Now add the responsibility of entertaining every family gossip session, attending every unnecessary discussion, and solving everyone else’s problems.
Because in a joint family, your personal space doesn’t exist. If they have something to say, you must listen. If they have something they need, you must drop everything. The worst part? Most of it isn’t even urgent. It’s just constant.

Final Thoughts—Love Deserves Space to Breathe
Look, family is important. But there’s a fine line between staying connected and being emotionally handcuffed.
A separate home next door to parents? Perfect. Close enough to be there when needed, far enough to live like actual adults. Because marriage is between two people—not the whole town. And if you’re going to spend your life together, shouldn’t you at least get to live it on your own terms?