The changing time and tide waits for no one. It is said that one must learn, grow adapt with the evolving time. We often converse about the simpler times we had. A time in the day when life was slow, peaceful and simple, has completely changed now. There is a race against time and things not as simple. Dating in 2025 has now different connotations. The latest GenZ dating trend is floodlighting.
This dating trend started making waves on TikTok first that talked about talking, sharing details about one another on the first date. But is it healthy? Are people really a comfortable with it?
Floodlighting is the latest addition on the dating dictionary. The term was originally coined by Brene Brown, the author of The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections, and Courage. Brown describes the concept of sharing (oversharing about deeply personal details with a complete stranger in order to establish a relation, or maybe gain sympathy.
“Unfortunately for all of us who’ve done this (and I include myself in this group), the response is normally the opposite of what we’re looking for: People recoil and shut down, compounding our shame and disconnection. You can’t use vulnerability to discharge your discomfort, or as a tolerance barometer in a relationship,” Brown writes in her book.
Floodlighting is also termed as trauma dumping. When floodlighting, a person may be oversharing on the first date – dumping all their emotional traumas, personal concerns etc. Sample this – one moment you are sharing a giggle, bonding over mutual ground, keeping it light think you have the instant connect and spark. The next moment, you start sharing very personal assuming that it may just strengthen the bond, improve the closeness. However, sharing deeply personal stories-past breakups, childhood trauma or mental health struggles-within the first conversation, you might be floodlighting as per an article reported by Forbes.
Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Synced, shared with Glamour, “It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once, to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you.”
According to experts, sharing details on first date can be an idea for someone to create closeness, better understanding however, it may not always be the case. The other person may get overwhelmed and take a step back, create emotional distance.
So what do we do on first dates? Everyone has a subjective way to navigate through that. However, one should try and not floodlight at the very first conversation. One should try to pause, reflect, and calmly decide your disclosures.
One may try and be mindful of certain red flags of floodlighting like – one sided conversation, the other person is looking for detailed reaction for every disclosure, feeling emotionally overwhelmed due the unending trauma dumping etc.
Communication is key to a healthy relationship, but being mindful of your date, your partner’s comprehension is also important.
