They’re just not that into you.
In today’s digital dating world, consider yourself lucky if you can land a first date. Of course, a second date is not always guaranteed and if your potential suitor isn’t asking for one — you might be the problem.
Dr. Terri Orbuch, PhD, a relationship expert at DatingAdvice.com, shared with the Daily Mail common mistakes she sees single people making that doesn’t get them past the “We should do this again sometime” cop-out line.
When first meeting your date, it’s key not to overwhelm them with your childhood trauma or who your favorite middle school teacher was.
“Many daters make the mistake of sharing too much about themselves too soon,” Dr. Orbuch said.
“On a first date, you want to leave them interested and wanting more,” the expert advised.
The next mistake Dr. Orbuch wants you to avoid is fixating on whether there is chemistry or not with the person you’re on a date with.
It’s normal to want to leave a date with butterflies in your stomach but keep in mind, that doesn’t always happen.
“This is an unrealistic expectation and only typically happens in the movies. Chemistry and attraction can grow over time as you get to know someone,” explained Dr. Orbuch.
Unless there were obvious red flags or deal breakers, Dr. Orbuch advises people to be open to going on a second date with someone — even if you didn’t feel an immediate spark.
The third — very common — mistake people are making on first dates is bringing up past relationships in a negative way.
“On first dates, people are attracted to daters who are positive, optimistic, and hopeful,” Dr. Orbuch shared. “You don’t want to share why previous relationships didn’t work and what isn’t going well right now in your life.”
While it’s normal for conversation about past relationships to naturally come up on a first date — try your best to avoid complaining about how horrible your ex was. Instead, Dr. Orbuch said to keep this chatter brief and neutral.
Another big mistake is talking too much about yourself — and not asking your date any questions.
“You want to gather information about the other person and women are particularly attracted to people who ask questions and are interested in them,” Dr. Orbuch explained.
Lastly, remember to have fun on your date.
‘If you are too serious, the date sounds too much like a job interview, or you are so focused on whether you will marry this person [or whether you have a future with this person]your date will not go well,” said Dr. Orbuch.
A few more suggestions from Dr. Orbuch to be a successful dater is to be present in the moment, prepare what you are going to talk about on the date beforehand, and stop trying to overly “sell yourself.”